If you like flowers but don't like gardening

Run over a kid outside your driveway

-Jimmy Carr

Every day I see my big-breasted neighbour doing gardening work in front of the house.

I really hope his wife tells him to put a shirt on someday.

Did you hear about the pimp who took up gardening?

He had a lot of hoes.

After I lost a close friend, I decided to get into some gardening

Went down to Home Depot, got all the necessary tools, and got to work immediately.
And now that a few months have gone by, I can say with full confidence that no one is going to find that body.

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So I was watching this gardening show...

... and the presenter, a renown gardener, was talking about how great it is to mix in cow dung with your strawberries.

Don't do it, it tastes like shit, stick to whipped cream and white sugar !

Has anyone elses gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?

I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.

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So my neighbour with the big titties is outside gardening topless again today.

I just wish his wife would do the same.

What's the best part about Gardening?

Getting down and dirty with your hoes!

I stole some gardening equipment from a pimp.

He found me, grabbed me by my collar and shouted, "Where my hoes at?"

When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time.

I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"

Stupid but hope you like it sorry for bad grammar

A scottsman an Irishman and an Englishman are all on a plane the scotsman has a bomb an irishman has a knife and the Englishman has a brick the Irishman they all drop there things out of a window when the Irishman gets home he find his dad crying on the sofa in his living room he asks what's wrong h...

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Big boobs

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I figured it was time to get out of the house. My neighbor with the big boobs has been gardening topless all afternoon," the guy tells the bartender. "That doesn't sound too bad," the bartender laughs. "Well it wouldn't be if his wife would try it occasiona...

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You wife was a stripper and now teaches gardening classes...

Color me impressed...

I didn’t know you could lead a horticulture

I wonder if hulk does gardening

He most definitely have green thumbs

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I was doing some gardening when my friend asked me to go out and have a drink with him. I said no cause I was gardening. He said 'Come on

*BROS BEFORE HOES*

It's a shit joke ik dont bully me

I used to be terrified of gardening..

Until I grew a pear.

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Why are Jews bad at gardening?

Their soil is too Hasidic.

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A man has a chat with his neighbour across the road about the neighbour needing help with their back garden...

When the two finish their conversation, the man agrees to help the neighbour with his garden, and when they finish the job, the neighbour will pay the man.

The next day comes and the man comes back from the neighbours house all puffed out and tired, he sits down on the couch and calls his fr...

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