UPJOKE
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What is worse than two children in a trash bin?

One child in two trash bins.

Where's your bin?

A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin.

"Hey bub, where's ya bin`"
"I took a little vacation for a few weeks,"
"No. I meant where's your bin?"
"Told ya, vacation, at the beach!"
"No man. Where's ya wheely bin?"
"Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Ha...

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Kids Banging on Bins

Everyday this old gentleman would be waken by some local kids banging on some trash bins in the alley outside his house and yelling.

One day the old gentleman went out and said "I really love your youthful energy and joy you bring here - I am so entertained by you all! here, let me pay you e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This little boy came down to breakfast

and when he got to the table, his mom had ,bacon, eggs and milk on the table, but before he could eat, he had to take out the trash like his mother told him the night before. He was pissed, so he stormed out the door, and on his way to the trash bin he kicked a chicken, and then a pig and a cow. Whe...

A lime, a lemon, and a pea walked into a bar...

The lime ordered a beer, the lemon got some tequila, and the pea got a diet coke. The lime and lemon watched pea order, and eventually tried to ignore their sense of disgust at a diet coke. They listen to the music being played, drink up their drinks, and eventually get off the stools and pay. As th...

A man was looking for a unique pet...

A man was looking for a unique pet so he stopped at a pet store off the beaten path in New York City. He went inside and asked the pet shop owner to show him something different.

"Well right over here we have a magic rat. I won't tell you what it does but trust me, it is unique."

His c...

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I know there are a lot of versions out there, but this is my favorite

A rich old man gets audited by the IRS saying they need him to come in and fix his taxes. The old man calls his lawyer and heads to the IRS. Once there, the IRS agent said,"Well I've noticed that you don't have a job listed, and yet you still make a lot of money. What's your secret?" The old man rep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OC: By a hobo, to a hobo, about a hobo (a Melvin tale)

(This story was told to me by my friend Mondo, about our mutual friend Melvin. We're all hobos here, living on the streets in the affluent community of Roseville, California. If you're ever in the area and you see a frail old man carrying a massive green rucksack, give ol' Melvin a beer for me. He w...

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