"Honey, let's just a couple of sheep so we don't have to mow the lawn." -- "Oh, but what would we do with the wool?" -- "Well, we could-"

shear it

wash it

dry it

pick it

card it

bag it

store it

sell it

process it

clean it

buy it

keep it

pack it

send it

mail

insulate it

mulch it

fertilise it

toss it

compo...

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Charles the Banana

Charles was a banana at the local Safeway, where he sat on the shelf with all the other bananas. Charles waited every day to be picked when, finally, a man picks up Charles in his bunch and buys him.

When Charles got home, the man put Charles on the counter. "Oh boy," he thought, "I'll final...

The Compost Heap

I was raised in a fairly hippy-ish town. The kind of place that was always looking to do something ecologically friendly in the days before the internet made it easy to share tips and tricks on how to cut down your carbon footprint.

One of the things they did was expand the recycling collect...

I refuse to work with compost

It's degrading

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I've never heard of a lazy composter

They've usually got their shit together :)

Why did John Phillip Sousa always get his leftovers to go?

Because he was a composter.

I told my wife the other night that I wanted her to start talking dirty more for me.

She looked up at me thoughtfully for a moment and then responded.

"Compost."

About 6 months ago I got a promotion

So naturally I wanted to celebrate. On my way home I grabbed a handle of captain and a litre of cola. I invited my friend Frank to have a few drinks with me. We ordered a pizza, played some Mariokart, got drunk and passed out. Nothing crazy.

The next morning Frank was still there (he usually ...

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What is a reposted shitpost called?

Compost

Where do all the recycled websites go?

Dot Compost

Victor liked to reminisce of his high school days and asked his neighbors to call him The Victor

The Victor was also a gardener and wanted to stop buying fertilizer because it costed him too much money. He decided to start composting instead, but he lived alone so he didn’t make enough waste for his compost. Finally he decided to go door to door asking his neighbors for their spoiled food to a...

Bubba n' Buford III

Bubba n' Buford jes left Texas A&M where they'd attend a seminar entitled "Advanced Composting" n' were a headin' back up Highway 79 towards east Texas. After a bit they got into an argument over whether Marquez was pronounced Mar-KEY or Mar-KAY. Well, they decided since they were about to go ...

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