UPJOKE
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Col Jokes

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A mother is scolding her son:

Your teacher called me today. He told me you said the "C" word in class. Is that true?

Yes, mum.

That wasn't clever now, was it?

No mum, it was cunt.

(Not so) famous last wordsā€¦

Col. Arrow Gant: Ha, at this range they couldnā€™t hit an eleā€¦.

Start Trek Unnamed Ensign: Hey Wesley, look at this cute littleā€¦

Me: Honey, what do you think of this vegetable slicer for your Motherā€™s Day giftā€¦

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Retiring from the British Army can be complicated. (Long)

Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long fulfilling career. On the day that he retired he received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and, in particular, the tax-free ā€˜lump sumā€™ award, (based upon...

If communism would adapt English, they would adapt to British English.

ColOURs, FlavOURs, FavOURite and humOUR.

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Colonel Custer's widow [NSFW, language]

Heard this on the Sopranos, hopefully won't screw it up.

A few weeks after his death, Col. Custer's widow felt it necessary to commemorate her late husband. She found one of the best painters of the time and asked him to paint a mural of Custer's final moments. A month goes by and the paintin...

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