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French People Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

French people don’t masturbate

They jacques off

What do French people call a really bad Thursday?

A trajeudi

Why do French people eat small breakfasts

One egg is an oeuf

French people are incredibly hardcore ...

They eat pain for breakfast.

Why do French people eat snails?

They don't like fast food.

Why do french people look so depressed ?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is England



(stolen from twitter, no idea if it's an original)

I hate French people

They give me the crepes

Why don’t French people order 2 eggs in a restaurant?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What drug do French people use to get high?

Oui’d

How do French people know how long to boil an egg?

They just know when they boiled enough.

I always say beaucoup to french people

It means a lot to them

French people are weird.

You give them something nice and they beg for mercy.

What sport is played by angry french people?

Lacrosse

Ugh, French people are such cowards

I saved one and he just kept begging for mercy

Why do French people not trust mermaids?

Because that girl is poisson.

How do French people send photos of cats to each other?

They use Snapchat

New study shows that 4*20+10+7 percent of French people are unhappy with the French counting system.

Why do French people only drive in 1st gear?

They love a lot of revolutions.

Torturing French people is so rewarding

The more pain you inflict, the louder they thank you

Why do French people hate remote controls?

They are too easy Toulouse.

The year is 1799. Napoleon is strategizing with his advisors. A map of Europe is on the table before them...

Napoleon says "Behold, Gentlemen! Our destiny lies within our grasp!"

One advisor asks "What is your plan, General?"

Napoleon slams his fist on the table. "All of Europe will fall to our forces. We shall take it piece by piece until our empire is established. My first step will be to u...

I tried to make a few jokes about french people

they were all really rude so I didn't bother

Why did the French people at the feeding of the 5000 sympathise with Jesus?

Because they shared his pain.

Une blague en Français - For french people only

Une femme avoue Ă  son mari qu'elle a un fantasme depuis plusieurs annĂŠes de faire l'amour pendant qu'un grand noir leur fait du vent avec une feuille de palmier.

Après y avoir bien rÊflÊchi, le mari dÊcide de demander à son collègue de l'aider.

Le lendemain, ils sont donc tous les 3 (l...

Why don't French people smile in pictures?

The French word for "cheese" is "fromage".

If eight Germans leave my party, and nine French people leave my party, have I got any idea how many Spaniards leave my party?

Tengo.

My cat is really fat and chubby

Most people would call her “fubby” but french people would call her “chat”

Terrorists hijack a plane flying into London. They tell everyone to raise their hands over their heads if they are British or American.

They wanted French people too but they already had their hands up.

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