The United Nations conducts a survey worldwide

The only question asked was: "Would you please give us your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a complete failure...

In Africa they did not know what "food" meant

In China they did not know what "honest" meant

In ...

I feel like the United Nations right now....

I say I’m doing work but I’m not.

A teenager went to United Nations for help...

The UN judge asks, "Want are you afraid of?"

He replies,"My face is so oily, I'm afraid the US would invade me."

A new United Nations missile technician in training reports to his first station.

He was surprised to see that there were many top secret weapons there but this was to be expected.

He also took note of the fact that there was a powerful missile at the rear of each base.

He was generally a very curious person so he decided to ask his boss about the missile.

Hi...

The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."

The poll was a total failure. The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Swiss did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of t...

The United Nations world-wide survey

The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.

The survey went like this:

"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"

The survey of course, turned out to be a total and a...

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

The aliens sent down a robot to earth.

The aliens claimed that this robot can catch thieves very fast!

They united nations sent the robot to Canada and in just a few seconds, the robot caught all the thieves in Canada.

Amazed, the united nations sent the robot to America.

The it the robot a bit longer but after 15 mi...

The United Nations are putting on an event with carousels, candy floss and a ferris wheel a couple of towns away.

I wish they'd come to my town. It's UNfair.

A Brazilian friend told me this joke yesterday

The United Nations decided to conduct a world-wide survey. So they sent a letter to the representatives of each country with the following question: "Please, with all honesty, give your opinion on the scarcity of food in the rest of the world".


The survey was a huge failure. Why? None of ...

Why is it hard to cooperate with the United Nations?

Cause UN I will never be a thing.

The United States, China and Russia are attending a military exercise competition

To see which army is the strongest, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests.the one spent least time and sent least soldiers wins.
On day one, the U.S. Army go first. They spent half a day meeting to formulate a battle plan, strictly divide the labor, and then sent a hundred spe...

An oldie but a goodie. [It's a version of an older joke]

On November 14, 1984, the United Nations sent out a survey to every country, asking "Would you please share your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey flopped pretty much everywhere.

In Africa, families were confused about what "food"...

The United Nations is like a black father

You know it exists but it's just never there when you need it .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

World Peace

My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. 


"World peace" I said. 

"Something more realistic!" she laughed 

"Ok how about a blowjob once a week?" 

She reached for the phone. 

"Who are you calling?" I asked. 

"The United Nations" she replied.

'Knock knock'

'Who's there'

'Okay Google'

'Okay Google, who?'

'Sorry I didn't catch that'

'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'

'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headq...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Zambian Roulette

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite.

To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

International relations

The United Nations noticed that there was a lot of dissent among its ranks and relationships were strained. The UN leaders called a meeting and came up with a plan to increase morale that was discussed and agreed upon by all members.

The plan was to take a representative from three different...

Saudi Arabia...

...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

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