Beef, chicken, and vegetable… one day I hope to be a bouillionaire
upvote downvote report
We're having a flash sale at the sperm bank, but our stocks are low
So it's first cum, first served
upvote downvote report
What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks?
A good start. HOLD the LINE.
upvote downvote report
i watched a commercial that said: "forget everything you know about stocks
so i did
then the commercial tried to sell me stocks, but i didn't know what the hell they were!
upvote downvote report
I managed to buy some GameStop stocks at only $8/share!
It is called "GameStop Total Landscaping," right?
upvote downvote report
During this pandemic I'm buying lots of stocks.
Beef stock, chicken stock, fish stock. Soon I'm going to be a bouillon-ere!
upvote downvote report
With the recent hike in GameStop stocks...
You are able to return something from GameStop and get your money back for the first time.
upvote downvote report
I am a stock broker
I am broke after investing in stocks
upvote downvote report
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why do Catholics make so much money with stocks and cryptocurrency?
Because they have perfected when to pull out.
upvote downvote report
I invested my dad's money in stocks and made him a millionaire.
He used to be a billionaire.
upvote downvote report
I recently started investing heavily into penny stocks.
It just seemed to make a lot of cents...
upvote downvote report
I bought some Bose stocks today.
It was a sound investment.
upvote downvote report
We need to keep bump stocks legal...
How else are the blind going to shoot?
upvote downvote report
Girl, if your beauty was represented in stocks, I'd invest everything...
Because you're at an all-time low.
(Use it to seal the deal on Valentine's Day)
upvote downvote report
If you invested early into Tesla stocks, you would be a millionaire. If you invested early into Apple, you would be a billionaire. If you invested £10 in 1890,
You would be dead.
upvote downvote report
I've put all my money in see-saw stocks.
To be honest they've had their ups and downs.
upvote downvote report
You need to invest in skylight stocks.
Business is through the roof.
upvote downvote report
I called gamestop custsomer service regarding their stocks and was put through after a 30mins wait..
And guess what? They told me to hold.
upvote downvote report
I just bought some Coca Cola stocks.
It's nice to have some liquid assets.
upvote downvote report
Circus stocks are up
Because the clowns sure are making a killing.
upvote downvote report
The proper way to manage marijuana stocks.
Buy high sell higher.
upvote downvote report
So my brother works at a research facility. His employer only stocks the bathrooms with single ply toilet paper.
They say it leads to the most breakthroughs
upvote downvote report
The world's richest man is dying...
The world's richest man is dying. He has made peace with that.
But what is bothering him so much is that no one in the afterlife will even know that he has amassed such a colossal personal fortune. On Earth, everyone knows he's a self-made man who built this huge fortune from scratch, but he...
upvote downvote report
World's greatest stock trader retires
Jack Thompson was the most famous stock trader on Wall Street. His funds had made money, in good markets and bad, for decades. Finally ready to retire, he was going to reveal his secrets in an exclusive interview. "What are your tricks?" Asked the reporter. "I've got only one secret. Years ago I not...
upvote downvote report
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.