I’ve started investing in stocks; beef, chicken and vegetable.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks?

A good start. HOLD the LINE.

I managed to buy some GameStop stocks at only $8/share!

It is called "GameStop Total Landscaping," right?

I’m new to the stock market and I’ve been getting really good at pinpointing the peak of penny stocks. I’ll explain.

That’s when I tend to buy them.

With the recent hike in GameStop stocks...

You are able to return something from GameStop and get your money back for the first time.

During this pandemic, I'm buying lots of stocks.

Beef stock, chicken stock, fish stock. Soon I'm going to be a bouillon-ere!

I called gamestop custsomer service regarding their stocks and was put through after a 30mins wait..

And guess what? They told me to hold.

I invested my dad's money in stocks and made him a millionaire.

He used to be a billionaire.

After 8 months of trial and error, hundreds of hours of YouTube, losing money, almost giving up, I can finally say I made my first $100 trading stocks

Never mind, I'm in the red again.

Why did Robinhood steal from the rich?

He actually didn’t he instead limited what the working class could trade in stocks in order for the rich to make money. Disney lied.

Did you guys hear about Ke$ha?

She lost all her money on AMC stocks, had to change her name to Ke¢ha.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This little old Jewish grandma took her precious grandson Michael to the beach. A a giant wave rolled up and washed little Michael into the sea.

Grandma falls to her knees, clasps her hands and looks up to the heavens and screams to God, "Lord, bring back my grandson and I'll be the best person in the world. I'll sell my stocks and give the money to the poor, I'll never say an angry word again. I will keep the Sabbath and pay all my employee...

I felt very lonely so I bought some stocks

It's nice to have a bit of company.

The Covid 19 Toilet Paper craze was a lot like the Stock Market Crash of 1929

But this time, instead of everyone dumping their stocks, they're stocking for dumps

So yesterday, I ran into this savvy gold investor. He dropped his wallet as I was walking behind him. He didn’t notice so I picked it back up and ran it to him. He then proceeded to thank me profusely and gave me his number so I could get a share if his stocks. Do you wanna know what I said next?

“Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.”

I recently started investing heavily into penny stocks.

It just seemed to make a lot of cents...

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