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Forgetting Jokes

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Bob's wife was very mad at him for forgetting their anniversary...

At this point, she had enough of Bob's shit. "When I wake up tomorrow, I expect to see something shiny and silver that can go from 0-300 in under 4 seconds!" said the wife.



When she awoke the next morning, to her surprise she noticed a box with a bow in the garage. When she opened it ...

I kept forgetting my passwords until someone told me to use 1Password!

That's a much easier password to remember.

Me: Doctor, I've been having trouble with my memory, I keep forgetting things

Doctor: Okay, how long has this been going on for?

Me: How long's what been going on for?

I keep forgetting what the opposite of night is called.

I gave up and just called it a day.

I've been forgetting things

for as long as I can remember.

The cost of forgetting fresh, hot tea...

...is steep.

Two things that I don't like about myself are procrastination and the habit of forgetting things.

But the good thing is that I don't procrastinate.

I told my doctor, “I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.”

Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.

Me: But I keep losing my Focus.

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A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgettin...

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A night out with 1$ [NSFW ?]

Two men only have a dollar for their night out and they want to get wasted.

So they go into a night shop and buy a sausage. The first bar they go in they order 2 beers each.

When they decide to leave, one takes out the sausage and places it between his legs. The other bends over and ...

I tried to sing “Danger Zone” five times at karaoke night, but kept forgetting the lyrics.

They eventually kicked me off stage.
Too many Loggins attempts.

I keep forgetting what "Armageddon" means.

Oh well. It's not the end of the world.

Forgetting your backpack while going to school is bad

But forgetting it while going skydiving is worse

What do you say when you can speak two languages, but keep forgetting vocabulary in both:

I am BYElingual

Garlic powder $5.99. Steak seasoning $14.99. Pepper shaker $9.99.

Forgetting to grab your shopping bag at the grocery store counter.......spiceless

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Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they've been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it's a joke.

"We'll be a laughing stock" says the first sailor.

"I'll never be able to live ...

I keep on forgetting what the Roman numerals are for 1, 1000, 51, 6, & 500 are.

I M LIVID

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Everybody is saying Harvey Weinstein is the worst person in history, but I think they're forgetting that Hitler is the worst person in history

I mean if he finished what he started, we wouldn't have to deal with Weinstein

The worst part of forgetting a woman's name...

Is when you can't quite come up with it, but she's right on the tip of your tongue.

Patient : "Doc I've been forgetting things lately"

Doc : "When did this condition start?"
Patient : "What condition?"

Forgetting to check your pockets for money before washing clothes could land you in some trouble.

Laundering money is illegal.

Civil engineer fired after forgetting how to design electricity-generating water barriers.

He lost his dam mind.

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Are pirates ass men or tit men

Ass men. It’s all about the quality of the booty, not the size of the chest.

Came up with this a few months ago and keep forgetting to post it.

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A blonde prostitute is working the corner with her friends...

... when a prospective client walks up to her.

"H-how much?" the man asks. The blonde whispers the price in his ear, and he quickly agrees.

As they're walking away, her fellow prostitutes call out: "Aren't you forgetting something?"

The man turns back nervously, then feels for h...

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