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Fighters Jokes

One night Chun Li gets drunk and decides she wants to get laid. So, she asks her friend Cammy if she knows which of the male Street fighters can help her get off...

Cammy said, "Sure. Ryu can."

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Why don't professional fighters have sex the night before a big fight?

They probably don't like each other.

Two young Russian conscripts in Ukraine approach a platoon of Ukranian fighters to surrender.

They approach with their hands in the air, and their weapons holstered.

"We come to surrender. Our truck is out of fuel and broken down. The rest of our troops are miles away, and none of the gas trucks or repair technicians will be available for days. We are stranded."

The Ukrainian f...

One Marine is better than...

A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune:
"One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters".

The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, ...

What did the foo fighters fan name their dog?

Dave Growl

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

They never mention that part to us, do they .

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Oil well fire fighters

3 tycoons own an oil well that catches on fire. They try everything they can think of to put it out, to no avail. So they call Red Adair, the famous oil well fire fighter. He tells them he can put out the fire, but it will be 3 weeks before he can get there and will cost half a million dollars. ...

One dark night in Dublin, a fire started inside the local chemical plant . . .

In a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the...

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?

George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighte...

I watched a singles match between two Mexican fighters the other day

It was Juan-on-Juan

A third grade teacher had her students ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral for their homework one day.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. But then the teacher realized that only Katie was left.

"Katie, do you have a story to share?"
''Yes ma'am... My daddy told me a story about my mom."
"OK, let's hear it," said the teacher.

"My mom was a...

Three Fighters

Three fighters were known as the painless trio. All three of them were in a accident when they were children, since then they couldn’t feel anything.

In every 3v3 fight they would get hurt beyond believe yet still continue to fight and win. People called them fakes, they say they hire actors...

The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.

In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.

Sometime later, the Syrian defence minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow. His host, the Soviet defence minister, was quite embarrassed about the scorecard from L...

Why do MMA fighters wear skin tight shorts?

Cause otherwise, they'd be boxers!!!

Why do female UFC fighters always throw lefts ?

Because they don't have rights.

Why do english speaking judo fighters lose against spanish-speaking ones?

Because, what in english is known as a lock, in spanish it's known as a key (llave)

What do you call four bull-fighters standing in quicksand?

Quatro sinko.

What animals are the best fighters?

Wasps. They have 5 black belts.

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I just read a long article about Japanese sword fighters.

If you want, I can samurais it for you.

Muslim women are the best fighters.

Not only can they attack with their low jabs, they can attack with their hijabs.

As an American looking at the situation in Afghanistan

It's good to see that, even decades later, the freedom fighters we trained can still drive out a superpower.

The mothers of two IS fighters were exchanging kids photos..

One mother said, this is my son as a baby, and this is him growing up, him as a teenager and this is him last year as a man, just before he gave himself up for jihadi.

The other mother says, you know- they blow up so quick.

Pakistan has shot down 2 Indian Jet fighters.

Using sophisticated Sikh - Heating missiles.

Fire fighters throw the best parties.

They’ve got a lot of hose with smoking hot bodies.

Why do sword fighters have a high karma rating on reddit?

They have been trained to riposte.

A battalion of Russian soldiers were marching through Ukraine..

From behind a huge pile of rubble they hear a faint yell.

"One Ukrainian soldier can kill 10 Russian soldiers!"

The Russian colonel laughs, then sends 10 of his soldiers over the pile. After a short battle and the ensuing silence, another yell:

"One Ukrainian soldier can take ou...

Why do ISIS fighters avoid Montreal restaurants?

because they serve Poutine.

Why do grizzlies make the best street fighters?

Because they fight with their bear hands.

I found a medical anomaly with fighters

The loser always has elevated levels of B-10.

What do you call four bull fighters in quick sand?

Cuatro sink-o.

adults make better fighters than infants

yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery

My army of bugs is crippled. All my soldiers are much too short to be good fighters, and I require more bread to feed them.

I lack toast and taller ants.

What is the one thing Foo Fighters need when buying a home?

The best, the best, the best of views

What is a bull fighters favorite soap?

Olay!

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Q: Why don't ISIS fighters have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?

A: Because the camels can't handle it.

To the person who found a pot of marmalade at a Foo Fighters concert last year

That's my jam

As the fire fighters were rushing into Notre Dame, an angry man stopped them at the door.

"Excusemoi monseuir! Entry is €12"

A group of generals has a conference to see how they shall deal with a particularly troublesome guerilla fighter.

They have intel that the man is holed up at the top of a mountain in thick forest, and make plans to storm his secret base. They draw up plans, counterplans, contingency plans. They make plans for if they execute the plans made for if their plans fail, only to find out that their original plans succ...

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

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