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Oil well fire fighters

3 tycoons own an oil well that catches on fire. They try everything they can think of to put it out, to no avail. So they call Red Adair, the famous oil well fire fighter. He tells them he can put out the fire, but it will be 3 weeks before he can get there and will cost half a million dollars. ...

As an American looking at the situation in Afghanistan

It's good to see that, even decades later, the freedom fighters we trained can still drive out a superpower.

A group of generals has a conference to see how they shall deal with a particularly troublesome guerilla fighter.

They have intel that the man is holed up at the top of a mountain in thick forest, and make plans to storm his secret base. They draw up plans, counterplans, contingency plans. They make plans for if they execute the plans made for if their plans fail, only to find out that their original plans succ...

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Why don't professional fighters have sex the night before a big fight?

They probably don't like each other.

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This is a traditional Scottish joke. I heard it from my dad, he heard it from his dad, and he had it shouted at him by a guy called Johnny Glue-bag

There was once a Russian wrestler with the stage name Ivan the Terrible. His name was well earned for every man who stepped into the ring with him would be killed. He had two infamous moves: the half pretzel which would cripple you for life and the full pretzel which would break your neck and kill y...

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Taliban commander called a meeting.

-Fellow taliban fighters! Are we a great nation?!
- YEEEES!
- How come we still don’t have a nuke?!
- well... that’s a shame commander! Let’s get one!!
So they got together, built a huge rocket out of tree, emptied some space in the middle using axes, cooked some uranium-235 using old Am...

Why do MMA fighters wear skin tight shorts?

Cause otherwise, they'd be boxers!!!

Why do female UFC fighters always throw lefts ?

Because they don't have rights.

What do you call four bull-fighters standing in quicksand?

Quatro sinko.

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A group of fighters from the Roman Colosseum were hired out to rich Romans as prostitutes. One so impressed an influential Roman noble with his oral skills that she began to work on getting him freed.

In the end he was gladiator.

The mothers of two IS fighters were exchanging kids photos..

One mother said, this is my son as a baby, and this is him growing up, him as a teenager and this is him last year as a man, just before he gave himself up for jihadi.

The other mother says, you know- they blow up so quick.

Why do sword fighters have a high karma rating on reddit?

They have been trained to riposte.

Two parents go on a date night and leave their son at home whom seemed to love fire.

When they returned, the house was covered in flames. The parents rushed to the police and fire fighters and asked “Where’s arson?!”

What is the one thing Foo Fighters need when buying a home?

The best, the best, the best of views

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

They never mention that part to us, do they .

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Q: Why don't ISIS fighters have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?

A: Because the camels can't handle it.

How do resistance fighters get pregnant?

Rebel scum

One Finn

A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and con...

What animals are the best fighters?

Wasps. They have 5 black belts.

Three Fighters

Three fighters were known as the painless trio. All three of them were in a accident when they were children, since then they couldn’t feel anything.

In every 3v3 fight they would get hurt beyond believe yet still continue to fight and win. People called them fakes, they say they hire actors...

Why do grizzlies make the best street fighters?

Because they fight with their bear hands.

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I just read a long article about Japanese sword fighters.

If you want, I can samurais it for you.

I found a medical anomaly with fighters

The loser always has elevated levels of B-10.

As the fire fighters were rushing into Notre Dame, an angry man stopped them at the door.

"Excusemoi monseuir! Entry is €12"

Two mints are having an argument in a bar

Both arguing with each other about who's the hardest, would win in a fight between them, general bragging and macho bs etc.

All of a sudden an Extra Strong Mint walks in and they both hide under the table until he finishes his drink and leaves.

The barman comes up to them and laughs "I...

Fire fighters throw the best parties.

They’ve got a lot of hose with smoking hot bodies.

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Bob, an Olympic class wrestler - has a match with Bjorn, a Lapland wrestling grandmaster

Before the meet, Bob's coaches warned him that Bjorn has a deadly stranglehold move called "the pretzel". They warned him not to dip his right shoulder while standing face to face, or he will certainly lose.

Bob keeps this advice in mind as he wrestles Bjorn - but he loses concentration for ...

To the person who found a pot of marmalade at a Foo Fighters concert last year

That's my jam

Muslim women are the best fighters.

Not only can they attack with their low jabs, they can attack with their hijabs.

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From: "Mike of Yahoo News" A Daesh (ISIS) fighter died in battle and quickly arrived at the Pearly Gates

A Daesh (ISIS) fighter died in battle and quickly arrived at the Pearly Gates where he was met by St. Peter. He immediately demanded his 72 Virgins, which was promised to all fighters who die fighting infidels. Suddenly out of a cloud strode George Washington who walked up to him and gave him a huge...

Why do ISIS fighters avoid Montreal restaurants?

because they serve Poutine.

What do academics and UFC fighters have in common?

They both care a lot about submissions.

adults make better fighters than infants

yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery

What is a bull fighters favorite soap?

Olay!

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A fire fighter is working outside the station when he notices a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders on the sides

a garden hose coiled in the middle, and wearing a fire
fighters helmet. The wagon is pulled by her dog and cat.

The fire fighter takes a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks," the girl says. The fire fighter notices the girl has tie...

I’m a huge fan of foreign martial arts, so I went to Thailand for an MMA competition

Somebody must have given me the directions to a local Star Wars convention instead because all I see are Thai Fighters

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