Two Roman gladiators are talking....

The one guy says, "Guess how many women I've slept with?"

The second guy goes, "Mmmm..."

The first dude goes, "Are you serious?! I'd be dead!"

In ancient Rome, a man was convicted for eating his wife.

The soldiers arrested him and bought him before Caesar.

"Do you have remorse for your heinous crime?" Caeser asked.

The Roman smiled and shook his head. He looked very happy.


Caeser was shocked. He told the guards

"To commit such an act is bad enough but to be happy a...

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A barbarian slave in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter

They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to oral sex only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.

Eventually, though, he was gladiator.

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A gladiator went into the battlefield with his dick out and came back victorious.

Because the penis mightier than the sword.

What did Spartacus's wife say when he ate her?

Nothing, just Gladiator

A Roman gladiator walks into a bar...

...and holds up two fingers. "Give me five beers, please."

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

Gladiator.

What is Hannibal Lecter's favorite movie?

Gladiator

When the gladiators fought lions

it was always the mane event

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A Gladiator’s Favourite Porn-Category?

Glory holes.

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Russell Crowe never really liked performing cunnilingus on a woman but after having tried it for the first time...

he was gladiator.

"A cannibal once took my sister to see a Russell Crowe film"

"Gladiator?"

"No, I really miss her"

Gladiator's Monday

A gladiator was having a rough Monday at the arena.
His opponent had sliced off both of his arms.
Nevertheless, he fought on, kicking and biting as furiously as he could. But when his opponent lopped off both of his feet, the gladiator had no choice but to give up.
He was now both unarmed...

What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?

IC

How did the cannibal feel after defeating his girlfriend in the Colosseum?

Well, he was gladiator.



*Defeeting

Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problem with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about consuming a mother of two.

But upon further consideration he was gladiator.

Roman soldier

How did the starving male slave forced to compete in ancient Roman death matches for entertainment feel after cannibalizing the largely portioned female oppressor?

Gladiator.

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Three warriors and a female troll enter the Colosseum.

The first, wielding a sword, attacked the massive lady-beast head on but was quickly dispatched. The 2nd, wielding a flail was picked up and thrown across the arena like a toy. The 3rd warrior knew he could not defeat the troll by conventional means and with that, he charged at the troll as fast as ...

He was such a brutal fighter that, after slaying the tigress in the arena, he proceeded to devour her flesh. And he felt no remorse.

He was Gladiator.

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A group of fighters from the Roman Colosseum were hired out to rich Romans as prostitutes. One so impressed an influential Roman noble with his oral skills that she began to work on getting him freed.

In the end he was gladiator.

Did you hear about the Roman arena combatant who was caught canabilizing a woman?

Showed no remorse, he was gladiator.

What do you call a guy who finds out a one night stand got pregnant, but is relieved to remember that they only did oral?

Gladiator.

Russell Crowe showed no remorse after cannibalising his wife.

In fact, he seemed like he was Gladiator.

What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?

I'm Gladiator.

At first the Roman warrior felt remorse for devouring his wife, but in the end...

He was Gladiator.

Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial?

They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.

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Picture the scene, it is 1915 and the Great War is raging in Europe.

The war brought forward many brave fighting units and among those there were none so brave as the aviators of the French Flying Corps. Every weekend these modern day gladiators would fly to Paris and install themselves in the Grand Hotel. The locals, particularly the young ladies, would be desperate...

Did you hear about the roman fighter who ate his mother in law?

Terrible indigestion but he was gladiator.

What did Russell Crowe say when he went down on his girlfriend?

I don't know, but he was Gladiator

What's a cannibal's favourite movie?

Gladiator

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I was with this girl...

So I was with this girl for a little while. The relationship seemed like it was going well. We went everywhere and did everything together. Then one day, out of nowhere, she decides the relationship “isn’t healthy” for her! She just casts me aside like I’m nothing. I was devastated.

I ran i...

What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator

Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

What's the difference between Spartacus and Hannibal Lector

One of them's a gladiator, and the other is glad he ate her!

Hey, have you heard about....

A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.

2 Galdiators are fighting to the death.....

One of the gladiators severs both limbs from his opponent, but instead of giving up the opponent continues fighting by kicking and biting, he then severs both legs from his opponent as well. His opponent finally has to give up being unarmed and defeated.

What do you call a guy going down on a girl with a smile on his face?

A Gladiator

What did Russell Crowe say when he found out that his ex-wife was eaten by a cannibal?

I'm gladiator.

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