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What's the similarity between a bad boxer and a porn star?

They both take a pounding in the ring.

How do you call it when two boxers are 69ing?

They're trading blows

Who’s a better boxer, Jim Jones or Mike Tyson?

Jim Jones, he knocked out over 900 people with just one punch

What's the problem with a boxer telling a joke?

too many punchlines.

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A man is walking down the street when he sees an advertisement for his favorite boxer, Mike Tyson.

He stops and reads the text on the poster.

**Come meet Mike Tyson! First 20 people can get punched by the man himself!**

Knowing that he didn’t want to pass up this opportunity, he shows up to the ring, 45 minutes early.

The building was already packed full of fans waiting to se...

Two boxers go head to head for the biggest match of the season!

In one corner we have Timmy “The Lemon” Dorah!

And in the other corner we have Tommy “The Lime” Jokata!

Both men are known for their vastly different capabilities, Timmy having an extremely weak body, but insanely strong arms, and Tommy being known for his insanely strong body and extr...

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Looking at their new baby, the mother said, “Those tiny arms, he’ll never be a boxer. Those tiny legs, he’ll never be a runner.”

The father said, “He’ll never be a porn star either.”

Did you hear about the underdog boxer that got the measles, then the chicken pox, then polio?

I guess he never even had a shot.

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There was a boxing match. One of the boxers decided to punch his opponent in the groin.

It was a dick move.

Why are pirates good boxers?

They have a mean right hook.

Don't buy Ukrainian boxer shorts

Chernobyl fallout!

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Why don't boxers have sex before a big match?

They're just friends.

A retired boxer goes to see his doctor because he’s having trouble sleeping. “Have you tried counting sheep?” the doctor asks.



“I tried,” the boxer explains, “but every time I get to the number nine I stand up.”

Did you hear about the boxers' union?

They demanded equal rights, lefts and uppercuts.

What do you call a sucky boxer?

Dyson Fury

I heard the professional boxers are among the highest paid people in the world

Apparently my bosses at Amazon didn't get the memo

What kind of punch does a boxer dog throw?

A puppercut!

A dad is lost in the Dad Joke Hall of Fame...

He's looking around when he comes upon a hallway full of people. At the other end of the hallway he sees a boxer just knocking people out one at a time. So, he quickly pushes past all of the people and asks the boxer,

"Excuse me sir, is this the punchline?"

What’s the difference between a brick salesperson and a boxer

One stocks rocks and the other rocks socks

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

A famous British boxer threw an object at me.

It turned out to be a mere can!

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Have you heard about the man that had five penises ?

His boxers fit like a glove

Did you hear about the boxer who fought his own clone?

The resemblance was striking.

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Why boxers don’t have a sex before the fight?

Because they don’t like each other

I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer.

She's going for the ribs.

I might try a duck.

Ten Boxers in a row....

That's it, the whole punch line.

Why don’t Soviets wear boxer shorts?

Because Chernobyl fall out

So there's this joke about this boxer...

I can't quite remember all the details, but they had a big thing for bullying. Their favorite pastime outside the ring was finding these really scrawny, wimpy people and just wrecking them. As an ego thing. So one day, if memory serves, this boxer decided to hold a little competition. "Everyone I've...

Went up to bed last night and started pulling off my boxers.

My wife said "You really spoil those dogs".

-Jed Stone.

Everyone thinks Muhammad Ali was the best boxer in history, but Jim Jones had a way higher number of KO's...

900 with just one punch.

How does a Muslim boxer keep his distance?

Hijabs

What's a boxer's favorite drink?

**Punch.**

Why did the boxer take a step forward?

To get to the punch line

A professional boxer has to fight a rookie. Right before the match begins, the rookie exclaims ''I think I can take that guy blindfolded!''

His coach replies "But what if he is not blindfolded?"

"Boxers or briefs", she asked...

"Depends", I responded.

What do Dracula’s girlfriend and a boxer have in common?

They both go down for The Count

Just sat on the end of the bed pulling off the boxers.

My missus says I’m spoiling these dogs.

What's a boxer's favorite movie?

Rocky.

I'm sorry... Did you expect a better punchline?

That Fisherman will never make it as a boxer.

All he can throw is hooks.

Have you met the burka boxer?

Apparently hijabs.

Did you hear about the semi-pro boxer who was an amateur pilot?

He's been deciding on a career and we're still waiting on his fight or flight response.

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What does a boxer with a uti says

I float like a butterfly sting like my pee

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers?

To keep his ankles warm.

It's actually very easy to become a successful beat boxer. You only need two essential items:

Boots and cats

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What do you call a flatulent homosexual boxer?

Gassius Gay

What do you call it when a boxer gives Dracula a BJ?

Going down for the count

I got knocked out by a dyslexic boxer

OK

A friend of mine had a pet boxer.

Unlike a dog, whenever the doorbell rang he walked over to the corner and sat down.

What do you call a Chinese boxer?

Pun Ching.

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As a boxer, I was insulted when someone asked if I was a virgin

I replied “Of course, there are no hits below the belt.”

Once upon a time, there was a boxer who always wins every single match...

When fans asked him what's his secret, he would just say, "I imagine there's a line on my opponent's face and I hit that line,". On his 100th boxing match, the whole world was watching. He lost. It was his first loss ever in his career. Fans again wondered so he was interviewed. A reporter asked how...

Have you heard the one about the 60-foot-tall boxer?

Never mind, the punchline would just go over your head.

I have a great deal of very tight boxer briefs.

I buy them in XS.

A girl had the choice of going out with either a fencer or a boxer.

The fencer was really kind and gentle, while the boxer seemed rowdy. In the end, she chose to go out with the boxer.
I asked her, "Why did you choose the boxer? The fencer seemed really nice."
She responded, " I don't know, the fencer just seemed rapier."

I once lost a fight with some underwear.

I was up against a pair of boxers.

But it was very brief.

'Cause I'm pants at fighting.

If I got a lot of boxers to queue up behind each other

I’d have a punchline

Why wouldn't JFK be a good boxer?

He can't take a shot to the head....


Too soon?

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Harold and Ethel had been happily married for years, except for one quirk

Every morning when Harold woke up, he would announce his consciousness to Ethel in the form of a great trumpeting fart, the kind that make the covers billow. This annoyed Ethel, and she'd taken to telling him, "Dammit Harold, one of these days you are going to shit your guts out." Harold would alw...

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As I lay in bed, gently nodding off, I felt a warm hand slip inside my boxer shorts and gently start to caress...

...my balls.

It was very nice, but I wasn't in the mood.

"Not tonight, honey." I mumbled. "I'm too tired."

"It fucking doesn't quite work like that in here." rasped my cellmate.

A boxer loses his sight in a freak accident.

Not being able to compete again, all he can do now is training with his loyal training partner and hitting the bag. Since he can’t see, he is required to remember and move only a certain amount of steps (both forward and backwards) to keep the distance. Suddenly his partner stops the session and the...

When I was a boxer, they called me "The Artist"

because I spent most of my time on the canvas.

Bill Cosby was one of the greatest boxers...

He got 20 ko's and didn't even fight!

I'm currently dating a boxer, but I'm not sure if she's my type.

I think she needs to let her guard down.

What's the difference between a reliable employee and an angry boxer?

One is punctual, the other will punch you all.

What division does a blacksmith boxer compete in?

Smelterweight.

A blind man walks in a bar

He asks the bar tender if he wants to here a blonde joke then a man stops him and says "Hey before you tell that joke keep in mind that I am blonde, this marine here blonde, this black belt blonde, this boxer blonde, and finally the bartender himself is blonde. Do you still want to tell that joke?" ...

What do you call boxers worn backwards?

Easy access

What martial art does a vegan kick boxer specialize in?

To-fu

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Guy goes to a fancy dress party wearing only his boxer shorts

He's stopped at the door by the bouncer who says "you do realize this is a fancy dress party, what are you supposed to be?"
"A premature ejaculation" the guy exclaims.
"What?" Says the bouncer.
"Well I've just come in my pants" says the guy.

A bad boxer

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.

"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."

Did you hear about the boxer who became a comedian

I hear he has a great punchline

My friend claims that he is a really good boxer.

He doesn't strike me as one.

Why was Peter Pan a bad boxer?

His punches Neverland.

A man in a cemetery sees a couple laughing over the tomb of a famous boxer

A bit taken back by the inappropriateness, the man approaches the couple who point to the boxer's epitaph:

"You can stop counting, I'm not getting up"

Yesterday was a rough day I bent down to pet a boxer

and he beat the living hell out of me.

Ole and Sven go to Hell

Ole and Sven, ignoring the -60 degree windchill warnings, froze to death while ice fishing in northern Minnesota and descend to Hell.

Coming to check on his new arrivals from up North, Satan is surprised to find Ole and Sven enjoying themselves, finally removing coats and hats that they've ...

I once knocked out a Champion Boxer...

I'm still banned from Crufts.

Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia?

It's Mike's Thai Son.

Once upon a time there was a monk, who farmed carrots.

Every day a thief would sneak into his farm and steal 3 carrots. The monk always tried to stop him, but never succeeded. He began to wonder why the thief was stealing exactly 3 carrots each time. He decided he was going to stop the thief. He started chasing him through the fields, but got outran ver...

Why Does the Pope wear Boxers?

He doesn't want to look down on the unemployed.

What kind of boxer spits on their opponents face?

A beat boxer

A man and his girlfriend are getting undressed together for the first time.

The man took off his shoes and socks revealing feet with missing and deformed toes.

"What happened to your feet?" his girlfriend asked.

"I had a childhood disease called Tolio " the man said.

"Don't you mean Polio?"

"No, Tolio, it only affects the toes."

Not wantin...

What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

Hit the sack.

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why didnt Jesus become a boxer?

Crosses killed him.

What makes Mayweather a great boxer?

He takes his work home with him.

Anyone remember the Boxer rebellion?

Thank god it was only for a brief moment.

Why did the boxer hate jokes?

Because he was always in the punchline.
.

Which boxer did Darth Vader put his money on in the fight?

The Thai fighter

A girl returns from US to see her father in India.

Being from a poor village, it was a big deal for the father seeing their daughter who became a successful nurse in the states.

The girl had brought some presents for her father, which included a cool looking boxer.
The people in the village were accustomed to wearing a lungi ( a large clo...

A former boxer decided to go into the writing business

There is no punchline.

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