I was pulling my boxers off in bed last night

When the wife said to me,

“You spoil those dogs.”

A retired boxer goes to see his doctor because he’s having trouble sleeping. “Have you tried counting sheep?” the doctor asks.

“I tried,” the boxer explains, “but every time I get to the number nine I stand up.”

Two boxers light up a blunt

After a couple hours, both of them are pretty damn high, they start telling each other stories. One of them says, "Oh man, the other day I went on the craziest date with my wife. I got home after practice and told her to get ready. A couple minutes later we head out into that beautiful forest next t...

A boxer used to do coke on his bocing gloves after winning.

That was the punch line.

During my boxing career, I was the 2nd best boxer in my country.

I fought in over 100 fights, and came 2nd every single time.

Who’s a better boxer, Jim Jones or Mike Tyson?

Jim Jones, he knocked out over 900 people with just one punch

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Looking at their new baby, the mother said, “Those tiny arms, he’ll never be a boxer. Those tiny legs, he’ll never be a runner.

Then the father looked. “He’ll never be a porn star either.”

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What's the similarity between a bad boxer and a porn star?

They both take a pounding in the ring.

A boxer walks into a gym...

It’s particularly crowded, and there are long lines of people waiting to use the equipment.

First, he waits in the pull-up bar line, and does 25 pull-ups.

Next, he waits in the weightlifting line, and does 50 bench presses.

After that, the boxer looks around for the punching ba...

How do you call it when two boxers are 69ing?

They're trading blows

What do you call boxers that cant last in the ring?

Briefs.

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A man is walking down the street when he sees an advertisement for his favorite boxer, Mike Tyson.

He stops and reads the text on the poster.

**Come meet Mike Tyson! First 20 people can get punched by the man himself!**

Knowing that he didn’t want to pass up this opportunity, he shows up to the ring, 45 minutes early.

The building was already packed full of fans waiting to se...

Two boxers go head to head for the biggest match of the season!

In one corner we have Timmy “The Lemon” Dorah!

And in the other corner we have Tommy “The Lime” Jokata!

Both men are known for their vastly different capabilities, Timmy having an extremely weak body, but insanely strong arms, and Tommy being known for his insanely strong body and extr...

I think fights between career boxers and famous criminals would be entertaining. We could even make it fair, with different weight classes and everything.

We just need to weigh the Pros and Cons.

What do you call a boxer who does the cleaning?

Mike Dyson!

What drugs do boxers take to dodge better?

Antifistamines

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There was a boxing match. One of the boxers decided to punch his opponent in the groin.

It was a dick move.

Why are pirates good boxers?

They have a mean right hook.

I heard the professional boxers are among the highest paid people in the world

Apparently my bosses at Amazon didn't get the memo

Blind guy walks into a bar

A blind man walks into a bar, and after getting a little tipsy he says to the bartender.
“Hey, do you want to hear a blond joke”

The bartender then replies “well before you start your joke there is a few things you need to know ... I’m blond 6ft 3 and im also an amateur boxer, my other fri...

Don't buy Ukrainian boxer shorts

Chernobyl fallout!

Did you hear about the underdog boxer that got the measles, then the chicken pox, then polio?

I guess he never even had a shot.

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Why don't boxers have sex before a big match?

They're just friends.

Did you hear about the boxers' union?

They demanded equal rights, lefts and uppercuts.

Burger King joke

What does Burger King and my boxers have in common?

They are both the Home Of The Whopper.

Yes there's a burger down there.

That is all.

I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer.

She's going for the ribs.

I might try a duck.

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Why boxers don’t have a sex before the fight?

Because they don’t like each other

What’s the difference between a brick salesperson and a boxer

One stocks rocks and the other rocks socks

Why don’t Soviets wear boxer shorts?

Because Chernobyl fall out

DISEASE

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees...

A famous British boxer threw an object at me.

It turned out to be a mere can!

Ten Boxers in a row....

That's it, the whole punch line.

What kind of punch does a boxer dog throw?

A puppercut!

Everyone thinks Muhammad Ali was the best boxer in history, but Jim Jones had a way higher number of KO's...

900 with just one punch.

How does a Muslim boxer keep his distance?

Hijabs

What do Dracula’s girlfriend and a boxer have in common?

They both go down for The Count

"Boxers or briefs", she asked...

"Depends", I responded.

Why did the boxer take a step forward?

To get to the punch line

What's a boxer's favorite drink?

**Punch.**

A professional boxer has to fight a rookie. Right before the match begins, the rookie exclaims ''I think I can take that guy blindfolded!''

His coach replies "But what if he is not blindfolded?"

A dad is lost in the Dad Joke Hall of Fame...

He's looking around when he comes upon a hallway full of people. At the other end of the hallway he sees a boxer just knocking people out one at a time. So, he quickly pushes past all of the people and asks the boxer,

"Excuse me sir, is this the punchline?"

Did you hear about the boxer who fought his own clone?

The resemblance was striking.

Just sat on the end of the bed pulling off the boxers.

My missus says I’m spoiling these dogs.

Have you met the burka boxer?

Apparently hijabs.

What's a boxer's favorite movie?

Rocky.

I'm sorry... Did you expect a better punchline?

What do you call a Chinese boxer?

Pun Ching.

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers?

To keep his ankles warm.

A friend of mine had a pet boxer.

Unlike a dog, whenever the doorbell rang he walked over to the corner and sat down.

That Fisherman will never make it as a boxer.

All he can throw is hooks.

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter . . .

Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope you're are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. B...

Did you hear about the semi-pro boxer who was an amateur pilot?

He's been deciding on a career and we're still waiting on his fight or flight response.

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What does a boxer with a uti says

I float like a butterfly sting like my pee

I got knocked out by a dyslexic boxer

OK

It's actually very easy to become a successful beat boxer. You only need two essential items:

Boots and cats

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What do you call a flatulent homosexual boxer?

Gassius Gay

A girl had the choice of going out with either a fencer or a boxer.

The fencer was really kind and gentle, while the boxer seemed rowdy. In the end, she chose to go out with the boxer.
I asked her, "Why did you choose the boxer? The fencer seemed really nice."
She responded, " I don't know, the fencer just seemed rapier."

What do you call it when a boxer gives Dracula a BJ?

Going down for the count

Have you heard the one about the 60-foot-tall boxer?

Never mind, the punchline would just go over your head.

If I got a lot of boxers to queue up behind each other

I’d have a punchline

Once upon a time, there was a boxer who always wins every single match...

When fans asked him what's his secret, he would just say, "I imagine there's a line on my opponent's face and I hit that line,". On his 100th boxing match, the whole world was watching. He lost. It was his first loss ever in his career. Fans again wondered so he was interviewed. A reporter asked how...

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Have you heard about the man that had five penises ?

His boxers fit like a glove

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As a boxer, I was insulted when someone asked if I was a virgin

I replied “Of course, there are no hits below the belt.”

A man walks in to his Doctors..

...and the Doc asks 'what seems to be the problem'

The man replies 'Doc I have a steering wheel stuck in my boxers'

..'Does it hurt' says the Doctor

' No, but it's driving me nuts'

Why wouldn't JFK be a good boxer?

He can't take a shot to the head....


Too soon?

I used to be a boxer, but had to stop because of my hands.

The referee kept stepping on them.

What's the difference between a reliable employee and an angry boxer?

One is punctual, the other will punch you all.

I'm currently dating a boxer, but I'm not sure if she's my type.

I think she needs to let her guard down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As I lay in bed, gently nodding off, I felt a warm hand slip inside my boxer shorts and gently start to caress...

...my balls.

It was very nice, but I wasn't in the mood.

"Not tonight, honey." I mumbled. "I'm too tired."

"It fucking doesn't quite work like that in here." rasped my cellmate.

I have a great deal of very tight boxer briefs.

I buy them in XS.

A boxer loses his sight in a freak accident.

Not being able to compete again, all he can do now is training with his loyal training partner and hitting the bag. Since he can’t see, he is required to remember and move only a certain amount of steps (both forward and backwards) to keep the distance. Suddenly his partner stops the session and the...

Bill Cosby was one of the greatest boxers...

He got 20 ko's and didn't even fight!

When I was a boxer, they called me "The Artist"

because I spent most of my time on the canvas.

What division does a blacksmith boxer compete in?

Smelterweight.

What do you call boxers worn backwards?

Easy access

My friend claims that he is a really good boxer.

He doesn't strike me as one.

Did you hear about the boxer who became a comedian

I hear he has a great punchline

What martial art does a vegan kick boxer specialize in?

To-fu

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Guy goes to a fancy dress party wearing only his boxer shorts

He's stopped at the door by the bouncer who says "you do realize this is a fancy dress party, what are you supposed to be?"
"A premature ejaculation" the guy exclaims.
"What?" Says the bouncer.
"Well I've just come in my pants" says the guy.

Why was Peter Pan a bad boxer?

His punches Neverland.

A bad boxer

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.

"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."

Yesterday was a rough day I bent down to pet a boxer

and he beat the living hell out of me.

Why my dog always goes to stand in the corner whenever my door bell rings?

My dog is a boxer

I knew an amateur boxer with a coke habit.

He kept his stash in his headgear because he thought it would soften the blow.

Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia?

It's Mike's Thai Son.

I once knocked out a Champion Boxer...

I'm still banned from Crufts.

Why Does the Pope wear Boxers?

He doesn't want to look down on the unemployed.

A man in a cemetery sees a couple laughing over the tomb of a famous boxer

A bit taken back by the inappropriateness, the man approaches the couple who point to the boxer's epitaph:

"You can stop counting, I'm not getting up"

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter?

Mohammed Dali

Why didnt Jesus become a boxer?

Crosses killed him.

What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

Hit the sack.

What kind of boxer spits on their opponents face?

A beat boxer

Anyone remember the Boxer rebellion?

Thank god it was only for a brief moment.

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