Boxer Jokes - 89 Hilarious Boxer Jokes

Boxers or Briefs, Mr. President?

In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Clinton replied, "Boxers"

In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? Obama declined to answer the question.

Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? Biden responded, "Depend...

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Why don't boxers have sex the night before a fight

They just don't really like each other

On my Tinder profile it says I'm a professional boxer....

Sounds better than saying I work in the packaging department at an Amazon warehouse

A boxer was having trouble sleeping.

He goes to the doctor.

Doctor asks "Have you tried counting sheep?”

Boxer replies "I have but every time I get to the count of eight, I stand up.”

As I lay in bed, I felt a hand reach into my boxers and start to play with my balls. It was nice, but I wasn’t in the mood “Not tonight” I whispered “I’m tired”

“That’s not how it works in here” said my cellmate.

Someone asked President Biden, "Boxers or briefs?"

He said, "Depends."

How did the Muslim boxer beat the other boxer?

With a Highjab

What's the boxer that cleans his house the most?

Mike Dyson

Boxers or briefs?

Depends…

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My nephew said "All boxers are gay"

I asked him "Why?"

He said "Because they're all fighting for a belt and a purse!"

What do you call a boxer who doesn't last long in the ring?

A brief

Have you heard the one about the pirate boxer?

He's got a mean left hook.

During my boxing career, I was the 2nd best boxer in my country.

I fought in over 100 fights, and came 2nd every single time.

Who's the greatest boxer of all time?

Jim Jones, he knocked out 900 people with one punch.

What do you call a champion boxer with flatulence?

Gaseous Clay

I was pulling my boxers off in bed last night

When the wife said to me,

“You spoil those dogs.”

What do a boxer and Dracula’s girlfriend have in common?

They both go down for the count

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I went to a Hallowe'en party in only my boxers

I went as premature ejaculation..

I just came in my shorts

Don’t buy Ukrainian boxer shorts...

...Chernobyl fallout.

(*has to be read in a British accent*)

A man is standing in his front yard, drinking a beer in his boxer shorts…

His wife is mowing the lawn while he stands there doing nothing. The neighbor catches a sight of this and yells out, “you’re standing there drinking a beer while your wife mows the lawn?! You should be hung!!”
The man hollers back, “I Am!”

Why did Taika Waititi start wearing boxers?

Because he was tired of people joking that he wears Tighty Waititis.

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Why do you hire a boxer when you are constipated ?

Cause he beats the shit out of you.

What do Picasso and a terrible boxer have in common?

They both spend a lot of time on the canvas!

Did you hear the one about the paraplegic boxer?

He really rolls with the punches

They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn't wear any shorts at all?

A swinger.

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Why did the boxers agree to have their match in the bathroom?

Because that’s where the shit goes down.

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Why do boxers never have sex before a fight??

They normally don't fancy one another

What do boxers carry their underwear in?

A briefcase

What do anesthesiologists and boxers have in common?

They knock people out for a living

A boxer tells a joke,but something misses.

A PUNCHline

A strong boxer

has a foam board to practice on.
He punches it 10,15,20 times in a row, so hard that each punch makes a crater in the foam.
After he finishes practice, he turns to an imaginary audience, shows them the board, and tells them

"here's the punchline"

I walked in on my neighbor in his boxer…

Which is really surprising, since in all the years I’ve known him, he’s preferred spaniels.

Did you hear about Salvador Dali’s brother who was a really good boxer?

His name was Muhamma

What do you call a boxer who enjoys landscape gardening in his spare time?

Manny Patio

Why was the boxer fired from his job?

He never punched out

What brand of medicine sponsored a boxer?

Muhammad Aleve

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, “I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.” The second one says, “I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.” The third one says, “I wanna be a boxer.” The others look con...

Why is Pope John Paul II a good boxer

He can take body shots really well.

How did the muslim boxer defeat the house intruder?

He hit him with a high jab.

What do you call a Chinese boxer?

Pun Ching.

Why are pirates good boxers?

They have a mean right hook.

A bad boxer

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent.

"How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round.

"Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."

A boxer loses both of his arms

This joke doesn’t have a punch line anymore

What are a beat boxer's favorite things to wear?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants

Two boxers light up a blunt

After a couple hours, both of them are pretty damn high, they start telling each other stories. One of them says, "Oh man, the other day I went on the craziest date with my wife. I got home after practice and told her to get ready. A couple minutes later we head out into that beautiful forest next t...

A comedian was fighting a pro boxer

The comedian told a joke. Then the comedian punched the pro boxer in the face. The the comedian asked did you get my punchline?

Ben and Tim want to go drink in a bar (NSFW)

Problem is, they have no money. "No problem" says Ben, "I have a cunning plan. Take this sausage and put it in your boxer. We go into the bar, drink a couple of beer and when they come with the tab you open your pant and let the sausage out. I go down on it and they will kick us out and we won't hav...

What are Boxers favourite part of a joke?

The Punchline.

What drugs do boxers take to dodge better?

Antifistamines

A man and his girlfriend are getting undressed together for the first time

The man took off his shoes and socks revealing feet with missing and deformed toes.
"What happened to your feet?" his girlfriend asked.
"I had a childhood disease called Tolio " the man said.
"Don't you mean Polio?"
"No, Tolio, it only affects the toes."
Not wanting to ruin the moo...

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What's the similarity between a bad boxer and a porn star?

They both take a pounding in the ring.

Why wouldn't JFK be a good boxer?

He can't take a shot to the head....

Too soon?

What's a boxer's favorite movie?

Rocky.

I'm sorry... Did you expect a better punchline?

What kind of punch does a boxer dog throw?

A puppercut!

What do women and boxers have in common?

They're both clingy when wet!

What do you call the end of a boxer's joke?

The punchline.

I got knocked out by a dyslexic boxer

What do you call a sucky boxer?

Dyson Fury

A dad is lost in the Dad Joke Hall of Fame...

He's looking around when he comes upon a hallway full of people. At the other end of the hallway he sees a boxer just knocking people out one at a time. So, he quickly pushes past all of the people and asks the boxer,

"Excuse me sir, is this the punchline?"

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An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter...

Dear Ma & Pa,

I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But...

A friend of mine had a pet boxer.

Unlike a dog, whenever the doorbell rang he walked over to the corner and sat down.

Why did the boxer take a step forward?

To get to the punch line

I knew an amateur boxer with a coke habit.

He kept his stash in his headgear because he thought it would soften the blow.

When I was a professional boxer I fought a bout against Lennox Lewis. In the first round, I really had him worried...

...He thought he'd killed me

Why was Peter Pan a bad boxer?

His punches Neverland.

How does a Muslim boxer keep his distance?

Hijabs

A boxer used to do coke on his bocing gloves after winning.

That was the punch line.

Ten Boxers in a row....

That's it, the whole punch line.

Did you hear about the boxers' union?

They demanded equal rights, lefts and uppercuts.

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What do you call a flatulent homosexual boxer?

Gassius Gay

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers?

To keep his ankles warm.

Anyone remember the Boxer rebellion?

Thank god it was only for a brief moment.

One old man asks another old man, "what kind of underwear do you wear? boxers, briefs?

The other old man says "Depends"

A famous British boxer threw an object at me.

It turned out to be a mere can!

I organized a dozen professional boxers to stand in a row and hit anyone that got near them

That was my best punchline ever

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Why don't boxers have sex before a big match?

They're just friends.

What division does a blacksmith boxer compete in?

Smelterweight.

Why didnt Jesus become a boxer?

Crosses killed him.

Why did the boxer hate jokes?

Because he was always in the punchline.
.

I have a great deal of very tight boxer briefs.

I buy them in XS.

What’s the difference between a Boxer and a pit?

You can’t fall into a Boxer.

How do you call it when two boxers are 69ing?

They're trading blows

A group of boxers stand in line to get some drinks at a party.

That's it. That's the punchline.

A boxer loses his sight in a freak accident.

Not being able to compete again, all he can do now is training with his loyal training partner and hitting the bag. Since he can’t see, he is required to remember and move only a certain amount of steps (both forward and backwards) to keep the distance. Suddenly his partner stops the session and the...

Two facts interesting facts about me: 1) I once knocked out a champion boxer with a single punch

2) I'm now banned from Crufts.

What's the difference between a reliable employee and an angry boxer?

One is punctual, the other will punch you all.

Have you heard the one about the 60-foot-tall boxer?

Never mind, the punchline would just go over your head.

Why Does the Pope wear Boxers?

He doesn't want to look down on the unemployed.

I heard the professional boxers are among the highest paid people in the world

Apparently my bosses at Amazon didn't get the memo

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