I have an irrational fear of warrior princesses from different places.

You could say I'm xenaphobic

I don't get why there are so many social justice warriors

Why don't people want to play as social justice mages or social justice rangers?

Why are people in I.T. the worst kind of social justice warriors?

They are always asking you to check your privilege.

Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?

Vowel-halla

What do you call a female warrior in a nightgown?

A Pajamazon.

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides.

The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

The kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it's a valuab...

An airplane was about to crash...

There was 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said “I am Steph Curry, considered one of NBA’s most prized players. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me and I can’t afford to die” So he took the 1st pack and jumped out of the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Donald ...

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Three warriors and a female troll enter the Colosseum.

The first, wielding a sword, attacked the massive lady-beast head on but was quickly dispatched. The 2nd, wielding a flail was picked up and thrown across the arena like a toy. The 3rd warrior knew he could not defeat the troll by conventional means and with that, he charged at the troll as fast as ...

Two Cherokee warriors were walking through the forest

First one sees smoke clouds in the distance so he asks the second:

\- What does that say?

Second one replies:

\- Don't worry about it, it's just SPAM.

You're a Savage Warrior. You're a barbarian. You come from a city in Iran. You're a Barbar Barbarian.

You're known for hanging around your favorite drinking establishment. You're a Barbar bar barbarian.

You get exiled. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian.

You get a job cutting hair. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You are the exclusive hairstylist of a popular chil...

Two groups of warriors are facing each other beafore a battle

Wanting to intimidate their foes, a swordsman takes out his handkerchief, throws it up into the air and deftly slices it into ribbons before it hits the ground.

Not wanting to be outdone, his opponent also takes out his handkerchief and throws it up in the air. The handkerchief flutters down...

We've never seen an actual ninja win American Ninja Warrior.

But that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

How many social justice warriors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just kidding, social justice warriors can't change anything.

A barbarian warrior is captured by the enemy

He was taken before the leader, and told that he had one opportunity for life: he must survive four trials by ordeal.

The first was to walk barefoot across a trench filled with hot coals.

The second, to drink a full quart of the most powerful spirit.

Third, he had to enter a ca...

At first the Roman warrior felt remorse for devouring his wife, but in the end...

He was Gladiator.

Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?

Because they make teeth straight and white.

The Golden State Warriors just suffered the second biggest sports collapse to date...

First probably has to go to Notre Dame.

Social Justice Warriors Favorite Sandwich:

Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon and Tomato

A Native American Chief had three wives, all of whom were pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.

The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the th...

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The Golden State Warriors flew to Jamaica to play an exhibition game against a local team.

The Warriors kept on losing the ball and missing easy shots. Kerr, the Warriors' coach was furious, but the players said that the balls were too small, and kept slipping out of their hands.



By the end of the half, they were down by 20 points, with Steph Curry, the Warriors' captain...

I caught a bunch of social justice warriors in my yard digging up large wooden stakes

They said the posts had to be removed before they caused a fence.

Golden State Warriors "No one can choke harder than we did."

Atlanta Falcons "Hold my beer."

In the ancient village of Gennemill, there lived the Trids...

The Trids were a happy folk, mostly due to their vast riches. They weren't known for being warriors, or for being artists, or for their architecture, but simply because they had the most gold, an entire mountain of it infact. But one day the powerful dragon, Sorial, swooped down on Gennemill and ove...

If Wonder Woman is the best female warrior

Would that make her Amazon Prime?

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Bancroft was an unimpressive man

he had no viable skills or accomplishments. He has always dreamed of joining the king’s army and becoming a knight but was always rejected as he was too short. He would often complain to his friend, Alcott, about his height. He would repeatedly say, “If only I was taller, I would be able to be a kni...

Why are Social Justice Activists always warriors?

Because they don't have a high enough intelligence to be Social Justice Mages.

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A man takes up Kung Fu, and ascends high to a mountain temple to train...

On his first day he tours the grounds with his master to witness the many fighting styles. Along the way he sees a warrior with no arms, and he asks his master "How can that man learn kung fu with no arms?"

"Don't you see?" Says the master. "Without arms he need learn no punches. Therefore hi...

Three samurai warriors where discussing who was the master of the sword...

As the debate heated up a fly is flying around the room.

The first samurai quickly draws his sword and chops it in two, the other two are not impressed. Another fly enters the room. The second samurai even faster than the first swing his sword and chops the wings off and the fly continues on....

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Zeus is offering a seat in his Pantheon to one who can complete his trials of strength.

An esteemed hero of all men approaches Olympus and thinks hey, why the hell not. If I lose I may be disappointed, but if I win I will join the legendary Gods of the Pantheon!


So he makes his way to Zeus, excited to see what is in store for him in order to prove his worth to the Gods. Al...

How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?

With a Nor-Ouija board.

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ISIS Warrior, Frog, Doctor

An ISIS Warrior walks into his Doctor's office with a Frog sitting on his head.

"What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asks.

"Well as you might have seen, there's a really big tumor on my ass." replied the frog.

Why is everyone a social justice warrior ?

Couldn't they pick another class ? Like social justice mage or social justice hunter ?

What’s the opposite of Social Justice Warrior?

A Status Quosader

Why do warriors make bad business men ?

They charge too much !

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Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle?

No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor.

Do you know why Turkeys make good warriors?

Because they ain't no chicken.

An American Indian man goes into town...

He walks in to the local administration building and enquirers about having a name change.

He is pointed to the right clerk, who ask him what his given name is.

The young warrior says:
"Among my people, I am called Very fast arrow that overtakes wind and is quicker than lightening...

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I like my sex like my pirate warrior games .

Over in 2 minutes

Don't let the Golden State Warriors blowing a 3 - 1 lead in the NBA finals..

..distract you from the fact that the British blew a 13 colony lead in 1776

In Medieval Europe, there once was a triangular lake.

This triangular lake was quite large; so large, in fact, that three separate kingdoms were built on each side of this lake. These kingdoms were very different one from another.
The first kingdom was the richest - smooth stone walls built like a fortress, lavish houses for all, and a generous king...

It really scares me to watch Xena Warrior Princess...

I must be a Xenaphobe.

What do you call a soldier that has survived both mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned warrior

A paladin and a warrior go into a mage's electronics store to buy computers.

The paladin asks for a Dell computer. The mage directs him to aisle five. The warrior asks for a Hewlett-Packard. The mage says "I'm all out of HP." The mage dies.

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Two friends Bob and Frank are lost deep in the jungle when they encounter a tribe of blood thirsty cannibals.

They are surrounded by dozens of the fierce blood thirsty warriors armed with clubs and spears. The leader of the warriors approaches the two friends and informs them they are trespassing on sacred land and unless they can prove they are descendants of the Gods they will be killed and eaten.

...

I wanted to change my Reddit password from Warriors into Cavs.

But Reddit said Too weak

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Once, there were three kingdoms by a lake.

The first was very rich and powerful, while the second was on a good slope up top. The third was an absolute shitshow, and had nothing to show for itself.

One day, the three kingdoms found out that there was a lot of gold and riches deep in the lake, and all of them claimed it. To decide on o...

What do you call a Roman warrior with hair in his mouth?

Gladiator

Get it? Glad He Ate Her..

After watching social justice warrior's behaviour on YouTube. TIL: the old saying is true...

War doesn't determine who's on the right, only who's on the left.

I think Trojan is a bad name for a condom brand...

...because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls...

Where are the Golden State Warriors from?

Chokeland.

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What do you call a fashionable Japanese warrior?

Glamurai

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A Rabbi and 3 Trids are traveling through the mountains ...

A Rabbi and 3 Trids are traveling through the mountains when they spy an angry looking troll at the top of the pass. It’s the only way to the other side.

The Rabbi is a little meek and asks if the Trids would be willing to go first. The Trids are a warrior people, and are there to protect the...

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An Airman, Sailor, Marine, and an Army Ranger end up on an island full of cannibals. They were captured, blindfolded, and sent to the cannibal chief.

Mobile, so formatting. Here's a few different iterations of the joke.

The chief says, "Well, gentlemen, unfortunately for you, we are going to build canoes out of your skin. However, because you all are warriors, I will grant you the option to choose how you will die."

A

The ...

TIL Ethiopian warriors conquered part of Central Europe in the 1300s

That's why they call it Hungary.

A Warrior Cuts off the head of a Hydra formed by fusing 8 mythical beast,

and 2 heads Grows in it place,

he cuts those off and 4 grows,

he cuts those off and 8 grows,

he cuts those off and 16 grows,

he cuts those off and 32 grows,

he cuts those off and 64 grows,

he cuts those off and 128 grows,

he cuts those off and the Hyd...

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A jungle explorer is captured by natives

and is brought before the tribal chief.

"Trespassing in our jungle is punishable by death." says the the chief, "We can kill you right now quickly and painlessly, or you can try and survive a test of courage and win your freedom."

"What's the test of courage?" Asks the explorer.
...

I knew a person who was against warrior princesses

He was a Xenaphobe

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A Roman army was making it's way through Scotland... [long]

Their march was interrupted by a frenzied shouting in the distance. The general ordered his men to stop and directed his attention towards the source of the noise. A single highland warrior was standing alone at the top of a small hill, yelling at the oncoming army.

"Come ahead ya big Jessies...

On Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's homeworld, would amateur junior-level warriors be called Rookie Wookies?

:)

What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle?

You're about to meet da-feet!

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Ship wreck.

3 sailors we the only ones to survive a ship wreck. They swam to the shore of the closest island, and passed out from exhaustion. When they came to they were in cages surrounded by a tribe of all male cannibals. They took the first one out of his cage and led him to their Chief, who told him ”Your f...

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Bunga Bunga

Three men are on safari, captured by a native tribe, and brought before their king.

The king looks at the first man and asks “Death or Bunga Bunga?”

Not wanting to die, the man chooses the unknown option of Bunga Bunga and a giant warrior bends him over and anal bangs him.

The...

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The Bravest and Fiercest

The king was getting old and did not trust his sons to rule his kingdom after his passing. He decided that he must find a husband for his daughter. This man, who would one day take the throne, had to be the bravest and fiercest warrior in all the land.

The king devised a test. his engineers ...

There was once a land, far away, and many years ago, that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake.

There was once a land far away and many years ago that had three kingdoms around a triangular lake. They often warred and casualties were fierce. So they agreed to hold a tournament of all their champions on an island in the middle of the lake. The first being rich and influential sent twenty Knight...

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Jesse - The Quick Thinking Cowboy

Jesse the cowboy has been captured by the Indians and sentenced to death. The Chief says "Since we are warriors and you are also a warrior, for honor, I grant you one last request."

Jesse says "Let me talk to my horse."

The Chief replies "That's an unusual request but since it is your...

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Im fucked god

A missionary is travelling in the jungle and suddenly finds himself surrounded by a a group of warriors from a local tribe.

He begins praying to god and says, "I'm fucked god, I'm fucked". God answers him back and says, "no, you're not fucked. Grab the spear from the leader, crack it over hi...

A Viking’s Wisdom

There was once a great Viking warrior named Rudolph the Red. He was known far and wide for his wisdom and experience.

One day while enjoying his morning coffee with his wife he stared out the window. He then turned to his wife and said “It looks like a storm is coming.”
“How can you be sur...

The King's Contest

There was once a King of a faraway land, and he was bored. So we called a contest for all the knights of the land to determine which had the mightiest "weapon".

The knights and their audience gathered in the great hall, and the contest began. The first knight stepped forward, dropped his pant...

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Dida

3 adventurers while on safari were caught by tribals. The chief came to the tent they were held in and gave them 2 options. Death or Dida.

The 1st adventurer choose Dida, as anything is better than Death. The tribals took him away. After 1 hour, they carried him out to nearest town. When he p...

NBA Finals

It's Game 7 on the NBA Finals, and an excited man makes his way to his courtside seat. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there.

"No,’ says the neighbour. "The seat is empty."

"That is insane," said...

I wanted to spread my message of peace and non-violence to the whole wide world.

So I went to a secluded tribe in the Amazon, and their warriors were not at all keen to see me.

One ran up to me with a spear and said “I will stab you if you don’t leave”.

But I stood my ground, grabbed the spear, and told him that “violence is never the answer”.

He looked at m...

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A lich walks into a tavern

The whole place fell silent. The customers have heard tales of their existence, but most have never seen a lich before. The lich plops himself down at the bar counter, a few seats away from a human warrior and his busty mage companion. They exchanged looks.

"Whoa," the mage whispered. "It's a...

Man walks into an ice cream shop.

A man walked into a small, locally-owned ice cream shop. So small, in fact, that the owner of the shop was working the counter that day. He had the following conversation with the owner;

**Man:** Hi, I'd like a single scoop of chocolate ice cream in a waffle cone, and give me a whole bunc...

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