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Favors Jokes

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I pay my rent in sexual favors.

I try to stay on top but sometimes I end up behind.

What do you call it when two cephalopods do favors for each other?

Squid Pro Quo.

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CAN ADMINS OF THIS SUBREDDIT REDDIT DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN. SHE’S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE SE AND OB...

If fortune favors the bold..

How come I was arrested for streaking?

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Did ya'll ever hear about that lady who was selling sexual favors for spaghetti?

She was a pastatute

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How is doing sexual favors for drugs like a boxing match?

They're both blow for blow

Why shouldn’t you ask big favors of certain diagnosed patients?

They usually come with conditions

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If my lawyer can be paid in sexual favors...

Does that mean he works Pro Boner?

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I went to the store to buy some favors

Apparently they don't sell the sexual ones at Walmart

The bystander effect works in my favor

So many people wish I was dead,

That all of them assume someone else will actually kill me

Have you heard that the weather forecast in Alabama now favors Roy Moore?

It’s expected to dip into the teens

Three engineers are arguing about which engineering discipline god favors...

The first says "God is an electrical engineer - electricity is fundamental to all life. Electricity is the most transportable, universal energy... it's like the force. Clearly, god is an electrical engineer."

The second pipes up and says "Nah... god must be a chemical engineer, from the bio-...

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A woman boards the subway…

It’s rush hour and this woman has around 5-6 kids with her. They all board the train and it’s a long way home, around 45 minutes. Needless to say, it’s super crowded and her kids aren’t doing her any favors. A few minutes in, the woman notices there’s an empty seat next to a guy manspreading. Visibl...

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hop...

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I was at the bar.... [NSFW]

And some lady dressed like a tramp kept trying to rub my arms. I kept telling her to quit handling me like I was her boyfriend when I didn't even know her. She wouldn't leave me alone, and finally she offered me a desktop computer in exchange for sexual favors. I swear this lady was high as a kite t...

Inmate escapes prison

Johnny had been in prison for only a year into his life long sentence with no hope for parole that he had decided that he would not be dying in prison. Using outside connections and some small favors he was able to get a small spoon and a local map of the surrounding area to the prison. After ten ye...

Why are all celebrities with skin head so successful?

Because fortune favors the bald

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A man goes to church to make a confession...

A man goes to church to make a confession to the priest.

"Look. I have a confession to make. During the war, a young, gorgeous woman came to my door looking for somewhere to stay hidden. And I accepted, on the condition that she would repay me every day with sexual favors."

The priest...

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