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Favorites Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my All-Time favorites (long):

A priest is fishing with one of his flock, an avid fisherman, and catches a whopper of a fish. The parishioner, forgetting himself for a moment, exclaims, “Look at the size of that Fucker!”

The priest responds sternly and so the parishioner, quick-thinking as he his, explains, “Oh … no Fath...

One of my favorites

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbequed 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."

The second cannibal asks, "What ...

One of my dad's favorites

When they started, the painters decided to paint the body of the church before painting the steeple. With the church completed and the steeple well along, paint was getting low and a thunderstorm loomed. To finish properly, they would need to climb down to the ground to get more paint. Alterna...

One of my dad's favorites about flying

"You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favorites, probably a repost...

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. So he decides to try it out at dinner.

DAD: Son, where were you today during school?

SON: At school *robot slaps son*

SON: Ok, I went to the movies.

DAD: Which one?

SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*...

What’s your favorite “yo mamma” joke?

One of my favorites: your mama’s armpits are so hairy it looks like she has Buckwheat in a headlock.

One of my Great Grandfathers favorites...

A traveling salesman steps off of a bus in a small Midwestern town. He has some time to kill so he asks the ticket counter clerk what there is to do around the area. The ticket clerk tells him that all the bars are closed because it's Sunday but if he walks down to the end of the main road there's a...
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