This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy comes in to his doctor's offices having symptoms of tennis elbow. The doctor tells him to go home & pee in a cup & return it for analysis.

The patient thinks this is ridiculous so decides he'd mess with the doctor by taking a pee sample a from his wife. Gets some out of the unflushed toilet after his teenage daughter pee'd. Added some changed oil from his car. Even going so far as to put his sperm in it. The guy returns it for analysis...

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah

I thought: "He's trying to pull a fast one."

A married couple goes to the fair...

The couple is in their 40's and haven't been in about 20 years, since before they got married. The husband sees a sign that reads "Helicopter Rides: $50". He then turns to his wife and says, "Ethel, let's ride the helicopter. I've always wanted to ride a helicopter, I think it'd be romantic. We can ...

My day today

\>buy GTAV
\>walk down the street
\>punch random bystanders
\>steal a car
\>run over more people
\>kill a cop and take his gun
\>steal his car
\>run over people whilst shooting more people
\>pull a fast one on the cops
\>get ...

If you're towing a speedboat...

...are you pulling a fast one?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[LONG] A cowboy is walking through the desert.

He's incredibly exhausted and he's just had the last few drops of his water, so naturally he gets super fucking pumped when he reaches a town. The town is the normal, cliché Western town, complete with a bank for robbing, a saloon for drinking, a sheriff for sheriffing, and a tumbleweed store for dr...

3 drunk men

Three men hail a taxi. The driver—seeing that they’re drunk—decides to pull a fast one. So he switches the engine on, then quickly switches it off and announces, “We’re here!”
The first guy hands him the fare, the second guy says, “Thanks,” but the third guy angrily smacks the
cabbie’s head....

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An Irishman walking the streets of Belfast...

Paddy was walking down a dark alley in Belfast one night at the height of the troubles when he feels a gun pointed at his back and hears a harsh raspy whisper “Protestant or Catholic?”.
Paddy was absolutely shitting bricks and was thinking fast and replied “As a matter a fact, Oim Jewish!” to wh...

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