UPJOKE
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China started anal swabbing covid-19 patients for rapid results...

Step 1: Insert swab into butthole.
Step 2: Remove, and insert swab into nose.
Step 3: If you smelled it, congrats, you are COVID negative.


Results: Instantaneous.

Certain public employees who have to submit daily to the rapid fire ...

... of well-meant but needless questions may be excused if they occasionally turn upon their persecutors. This is how an elevator boy dealt with one of them:

"Don't you ever feel sick going up and down this elevator all day?" a fussy lady asked him.

"Yes, ma'am", courteously replied t...

What's the name of the soap opera about a seabird that moved rapidly around and around?

"As The Terns Whirled."

Some people will tell you that a rapid irregular heartbeat isn't a big deal,

but that's a-fib.

During lockdown, middle aged women are adopting dogs at a rapid rate.

It's called the manypaws.

I'll see myself out.

Three students at the CIA Academy were about to graduate.

The instructor called them into a room and said to the first one,

“Take this gun and go into the next room. I want you to assassinate whomever you find there. If you don’t do this, you don’t graduate.”

The man took the gun and went into the next room, where he found his wife. Taking o...

Recent cyber security breaches are discovered due to their rapid deployment.

The hackers are always Russian.

Why did Reddit have a rapid implosion/explosion this afternoon?

I heard it had something to do with supermassive bodies.

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An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper...

An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper are perched in a tower overlooking the city of Nancy in France during World War 2. They have been lying down, silently staring down the scopes of their rifles for what surely felt like weeks at that point, and after a few hours of inactivity, the Greek sniper sud...

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

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A woman and a man meet at a rapid dating service......

...The man sits down and says, “I’ve only got three questions.”
“OK,” replies the woman.
“Do you like to clean?” he asks.
“I love cleaning,” she replies.
“Great. Do you like to cook for other people?”
“I love to cook,” she says.
“Fantastic,” says the man. “OK, last question. Do you...

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An Airbus 380 is flying across the Atlantic

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a jet fighter appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now ...

Rapid guy in a bar

Guy walks into a bar, clearly in a hurry.
Sits in front of bartender and shouts to him:


*- Give me a shot! Faster, faster, before it starts!*


Bartender in a little shock fills a shot for him and he drinks it right away.


*- Give me another one! Faster, faster, befo...

What do you get when experiencing rapid decompression in a German luxury automobile?

Mercedes-Bends

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Why Islam is growing rapidly !!!

Father Francis of Bradford was unhappy that the church attendance had steadily declined in the past few years but the mosque across the street was jampacked every Friday.

So he invited the imam for a cup of tea and then finally brought up the topic

Imam :So tell me,what happens if a ma...

As the United States reopens, the federal government has issued a rapid coronavirus test that’s just 25 cents.

Heads is positive. Tails is negative.

What do you call the rapid growth of Indian cities?

Turbanisation

A white guy, a black guy, and a Chinese guy go to work at a coal mine.

When they arrive the manager assigns each of them a task. The white guy, Frank, is in charge of digging. The black guy, Jamaal, is in charge of transportation. The Chinese guy, Wong, is in charge of supplies.

They get to work and everything is going smoothly. Frank is digging up the coal at...

Obesity levels in the U.K. are rapidly declining.

They're dropping pounds fast

A renowned book critic heard about a new author that was rapidly gaining in popularity...

Naturally, he decided that he wanted to meet the author. After hours of searching, he finally located the author and scheduled a meeting. He booked a plane to Spain and arrived at the author's house. The author showed him all the books that he had published. There were books about nature, busines...

Why is death rate among 20-25 year-old Chinese people rapidly increasing?

It's just youth in asia.

Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog...

But it’s actually a common mist-conception!

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Blind pilots

A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.

As the ...

Are you at all concerned that the heights of vegetables are rapidly increasing due to the amount of chemicals used on them?

No, I don't carrot tall.

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One day, a girl comes home crying, upset that her boyfriend had just dumped her.

Devastated, she starts trashing the place, smashing pictures of her ex-boyfriend and knocking things off shelves, rampaging from room to room. In her mother’s bedroom she rips down the curtains, jumps on the bed and smashes some mirrors. She finally calms down enough to notice that a small secret dr...

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What do you call a polar bear that exhibits rapid mood swings like that of a manic depressive, can live in both the arctic and antarctic, and shows equal sexual attraction to both male and female partners?

A bipolar bi-polar bi polar bear.

21st birthday

A little boy is born with a terrible birth defect - he has only a head, no torso, no limbs.

On his 21st birthday, his friends take him to the bar to celebrate. One of them pours his first beer down his throat - and poof! All of a sudden, a neck and torso pop out of his head.

His fri...

A priest, an alcoholic, and an engineer are sentenced to death.

They are to be killed by the guillotine.

First is the priest. The executioner says "You can go on the guillotine either face up or face down". The priest says "I want to die face up, looking up to the heavens". So the priest lies face up. The executioner releases the blade; the blade falls ra...

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My grandma told me this one

An American, Irishman and Japanese man are sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly, something started beeping rapidly. The American pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. He explained: that was my pager. I have a microchip installed in under my skin. A few minutes later, a telephone rang. The J...

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The First Lady was touring a hospital one day.

During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!" screamed the First Lady. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a s...

I love these definitions!

\-- Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.



\-- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.



\-- Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.



\-- Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. ...

A goat gets his wish granted by a genie.

He wishes to be turned into a human being. After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie. He asks "How can I ever repay you?"

The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before;...

My kids school said they were giving free art kits to everyone

Turned out to be antigen rapid test (ART) kits for covid testing.

(True story - Insert red blue penguin meme here)

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a Catholic priest are on a plane.

One of the plane's engines fails, and the plane begins to go down. During the rapid descent, the teacher stands up and exclaims, "We must save the children!". The lawyer then stands and says, "Fuck the children!". Upon hearing this, the Catholic priest rises and asks, "Do we have time?!".

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Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.

If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you d...

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An East End gang boss had always been very careful with whom he employed, for fear of being grassed up...

He thought he'd been really clever in hiring a crooked accountant who was deaf and dumb. There wasn't
much of a risk that he would overhear too much. However, it quickly dawned on the boss that
someone was stealing money from him. A lot of money. And it didn't take long for him to discover it<...

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One old lady's poodle got lost during a photo safari...

..after chasing some butterflies and enjoying a frolic in the bushes.


Not before long, he discovers realises he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately sett...

2 hunters, Bill and Tom, were out in the Blue Mountains one wintery day – looking for some feral game.

After nearly an entire day without a sighting they spotted a herd of feral goats and started stalking.

So excited & intent were they on their targets that one of them, Bill, didn't watch his footing and had the misfortune to trip and fall off a 12m cliff. Tom found him at the bottom in g...

A man walks into a bar and orders 20 shots of tequila...

... The bartender looks toward the door, expecting to see 19 more folks walk through the door. That doesn't happen.

"C'mon, man! I don't have all day!' exclaims the customer.

The bartender dutifully pours out 20 shots of tequila. Just as he's pouring the last one, the customer begins s...

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I wake up at around 7am to hear this pounding at my door as if it’s about to cave in

So I open the door and I see this 6ft cockroach. Before I can even ask him how’s he doing he picks me up and flings me across the hallway of my house. Moving at rapid speed he’s got me in a headlock and delivers some devastating punches. I’m gutted to say I passed out from the sheer pain. Next day w...

Guy sits at a bar and asks the bartender to line up twelve shots.

The bartender sets up the shots. He starts throwing them back in rapid fire. The bartender tells him to slow down or he’s going to kill himself. The guy says “if you had what I’ve got you’d be drinking like this too”. The bartender steps back and says “what have you got?” He tells him, “two dollars”

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are in a plane that crashes in the Amazon...

They are swiftly captured by a tribe of cannibals. The leader of their tribe tells them that outsiders from the sky are to be sacrificed for the good of the people. They will be cooked alive, the village will feast on their flesh, they will make weapons from their bones, and use their skin for canoe...

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[LONG] A Police Officer pulls up on the scene of a horrible accident...

A van went off the road and crashed into a tree. Expecting the worst, the officer looks inside and finds a man and woman dead. All of a sudden, he hears a monkey that was inside of the vehicle as well.

Surprised, the Officer exclaims, "What the hell is going on here?!"

*Reacting, th...

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Celebration.

Young man goes into a bar and says, "Bartender, three shots of Goldschlagger."

The bartender pours the drinks and the young man drinks them in rapid succession, grimacing with each shot, and then asks for another.

The bartender says, "Sure, kid. What's the occasion?"

The young m...

When my Grandad fell seriously ill we covered his back in lard.

He went downhill rapidly after that.

Pedro gets a New Secretary.

Pedro gets a New Secretary.
He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband’s roving eye.

Dora (Pedro's wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?"

Pedro: “Didn’t quite notice."

Dora: "What color are her eyes?"
...

The Prodigal Vulture

Several years ago, in a very flat place called Kansas, there were two vultures named Beaksly and his son, Red. Life for these vultures was pretty simple. Wait for a predator or car to plow into an animal, then swoop in and devour the dead body.

However, Red was rapidly approaching what would ...

1913 Driving Joke

A salesman of ironware, well known in the downtown district, bought a new automobile several weeks ago. He got one of the newest models, and on the first decent day we had he invited a small party of friends to take a spin through the country roads with him. He wanted to show off.

Well, he ...

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Two guys go moose hunting.....

A bush-pilot drops Bob and Ted, two moose hunters, at a remote lake in Northern Ontario. He tells them that he’ll be back in a week, and warns them that his plane won’t be able to take off with more than one moose.

The next week he returns, and sure enough the hunters have bagged two moose. ...

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man writing to his insurance

I am writing in response to your request for additional information.  In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident.  You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient:

I am a bric...

Dignitas have kept me on hold in a phone queue for 45 minutes now!

I'm rapidly gaining the will to live.

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The teacher asked the hottest girl in my math class to divide 13,939,393,938 by 2.

The student got to work, and as she did, her breathing became deeper and more rapid. A pink blush appeared on her cheeks and she clutched the pencil more tightly as she wrote. The class was stunned as we watched her begin to writhe in her seat. Soon she began to moan and mutter, "oh, my God!" Still,...

In a bid to entice republicans, Biden vows to pick up right where Reagan left off...

With rapidly detiorating mental health.

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The Queen's Surprise

The Queen of England is taking a tour of one of America's best hospitals. They are going through different areas, and occasionally meeting with some of the patients.

They walk into a room, and inside, a patient is intensely masturbating.

The Queen is shocked. "My heavens, what is the...

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Scream

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be bl...

I'm like a classic Mercedes Benz...

I depreciate much more rapidly than what's available nowadays, and I become more expensive to fix with time.

A hotel in Soviet Russia

Four strangers have to share a room. But they get acquainted with each other, one of them cracks open a bottle of vodka and they start drinking and telling stories. One of them wants to sleep, but the others don't care about him and keep telling more and more raunchy stories and political jokes. So ...

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In order to concentrate superior combat strength in one place,
economy of force must be exercised in other places.
Economy of force requires the acceptance of prudent risks in
selected areas to achieve superiority at the point of decision.
One account has it that Napoleon allowed a subor...

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A bricklayer has an accident at work and is being investigated, as the insurance company doesn't believe his injuries are real. They demand that he send them a description of the accident.

So he writes:

"I'm a bricklayer by trade. I had finished building the guard rail on the roof of the building. I use a barrel and pulley system to raise supplies up to the roof, and loaded the barrel up with the leftover bricks and my tools, weighing approximately 300 lbs, and then went below ...

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Two Irishmen are on a cruise when the ship encounters trouble.

The ship breaks in two and sinks rapidly and the two Irishmen are the only survivors, having secured a small lifeboat. They are adrift at sea with no land in sight. Suddenly they see something floating on the waves. It's a small, ancient lamp, and when they retrieve it and dry it off a genie suddenl...

My uncle decided to get involved in a sport as his health was failing.

But he took up bobsleigh and went downhill rapidly

Back in the 1960s there lived an Italian mobster…

He was known throughout New York City as “L’incubo”(the nightmare), as he would commit the most heinous of crimes, but only at night. The police have searched every single day for him, but to no avail.

Rapidly losing hope, five policemen stopped to pray at a nearby church during their break. ...

How A/C was invented

The four Goldberg brothers - Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell - invent vehicle air conditioning. But they have a hard time marketing it.

Well, on one 97-degree Detroit summer day, the four brothers walk into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talk his secretary into telling him that four...

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Movie pitch for a documentary

Movie pitch: a virus is spreading rapidly around the world, people are panic buying toilet paper and the fate of humanity relies on collage kids not partying.

WORKING TITLE: PARTY POOPER

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Three men are on a river expedition in the Amazon

Three men are on a river expedition in the Amazon. One from England, one from France, and one from New York. A few days into the trip they encounter some rapids and wreck their boat. They wash up on shore and are immediately captured by a local tribe. The leader of the tribe steps forward and says ...

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A man sits down at the bar and orders 5 shots of whiskey.

Bartender pours them, and watches as the man downs them in rapid succession.

"Rough night?" The bartender asks.

"My first blowjob" the man replies.

The bartender, excited for the gentleman, exclaims "Hell that's something to celebrate, have another shot on me!"

As he p...

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Blonde joke that you never heard before

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, "Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, "Well, little lady, why don't you go give...

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Mercedes

A police officer was standing on the side of the road, as he saw a dirty beggar drive past in a brand new Mercedes. He thought to himself:

"That's unusual."

So, without hesitation, the officer jumped in his car and pulled the beggar over, came up to the window and asked:

- Tel...

A plane's engine suddenly catches on fire

As the plane starts to descend rapidly, a woman gets out of her seat, rips off her clothes and yells

"I want to feel like a woman for one last time!"

A man gets up, takes off his shirt and shouts

"Wash mine, too!"

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.

The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting ...

A buddy of mine

went into a corner bar in NYC and asked for five shots of vodka.

I guess the bartender thought he was ordering them for friends or something, but after he poured them, my buddy just slammed them all in rapid succession -- BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM.

Bartender gave him a look of incredulity ...

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A man walks up to the bar and orders 5 shots of tequila.

He downs each one in rapid succession then orders two more. After finishing his drinks the bartender asks amazed, "Wow, something big happen today?" the man replies, "Yeah, my first blowjob."

"Congratulations!" the bartender says, "Here's another shot, on me!"

"No thanks, if seven shot...

In memoriam

Rapid Roy was a daredevil who specialized in car stunts. He decided to retire in style and end his career by attempting a canyon jump in the worst car he could find. After doing some digging, he came across a Chevy Nova in an auction in Champagne, LA. It was in bad shape, but he took a chance, wo...

CIA Entrance Test

3 finalists are in the running for an open CIA agent position. They're in a room awaiting their final evaluation to determine which one of them will get the job.

The first applicant is called into a separate room. There is a gun there and their spouse, seated on a chair. They are told to sho...

A duck walks into a PC repair store...(long)

Just an ordinary day in life, without any sense for anything being unusual about its presence there, the duck waddles up to the counter, looks at the clerk and asks:
(duck) do you have breead?
(clerk) uh... No. This is a PC repair shop. We don't sell bread.
Dejected, the duck waddles back...

12 Shots

A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender to line up twelve shots of whiskey. The bartender places twelve shot glasses on the table and begins to fill them.
Halfway through, the man starts grabbing the shots and slamming them back in rapid succession, finishing the last one just after the ...

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A plumber apprentice, carrying a large, heavy tool box and a master plumber go out for a job.

They get to an overflowing sewer with poop floating on top. The master puffs his cigarette a few times and put it to rest on a rock. Takes his hat off, hold his breath and dips his head into the water to take a look. After a second or so, gets his head out:

"Give me the 9/16 wrench!"
...

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[NSFW] First (And probably last) time I ever had sex.

The first time I ever had sex, I slipped it in started humping away. Bout a min goes by I notice she's shaking. Check to see if she's okay.

Shaking from laughter.

"What is it?" I say as my confidence is rapidly dropping.

"Ya-nununa Haha me"

"What!?"

"YOU'RE NOT IN ...

A plane was traveling across the Atlantic...

...when there was an explosion from one of the engines.

Pilot: "I'm afraid we're all gonna crash and die because it's just too heavy to keep it in the air."

Despite throwing all unnecessary items from the plane, it still descended rapidly.

Suddenly, a Frenchman stood up and shou...

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A professor, a lawyer and a priest are on a plane...

... when the pilot has a heart attack and dies, and the plane starts to lose altitude rapidly.

The professor then says "we don't have enough parachutes, give them to the children!"

The lawyer, desperate, promptly says "fuck the children!"

The priest then asks "do you think there...

Age brings wisdom

A cruel pet owner abandons his old dog in the deepest jungles of Africa. Wandering around, the poor old dog notices a leopard coming rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

Just then, the old dog noticed some bones laying on the ground close by. 
The dog immediately se...

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A Scotsman, an American, and a Mexican...

A Scotsman, an American, and a Mexican are travelling in a hot air balloon when it starts to rapidly lose altitude.

"Quick!" says the Scotsman, "We need to lose some weight, fast."

He throws his case of fine scotch whisky over the side.

"Why did you do that?" says the American. ...

John was on his deathbed

and his family was gathered near. Then his best friend Jim arrived and stood close to him. John's condition rapidly deteriorated and he motioned to something to write with. When offered, he quickly scribbled something and gave it to Jim. Out of respect, Jim placed it in his pocket as the nurses desp...

My Grandfather really liked Fall Out Boy

I never understood why, considering the age gap between him and the band. Every week, I’d go sit with him on his porch and we’d listen to the band, jamming out to some sick tunes and laughing our hearts out at each other’s awful singing. Unfortunately as time passed, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’...

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German language is easy.

The German language is relatively easy. Those who can speak Latin and are used to declinations, normally learn it very rapidly. At least that is what German teachers say in their first class. They start learning: der, die, das, des, dem, den and the rest just comes naturally. It's amazingly easy! If...

There was a concert in Joe's farm

The horse, the cat and the dog were really impressed by their performance.

The next day, the horse asks the cat and the dog if they would like to create their own band and go to Europe to perform live.
"Are you stupid, we are animals" said the dog.
"Don't worry, I saw an announcement...

A Ranger, a Bayou, and a few Marines

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger ...

Irish Pub In Midtown Manhattan Is On Fire

An Irish pub on 32nd street caught fire one day. Smoke and flames were seen billowing out of the windows and threatening the nearby businesses. Firefighters arrived on the scene within 10 minutes but the fire had spread so rapidly from all the wood (and booze I suppose), and the building was complet...

Why God? Why?

One day a fellow was watching Fox News and learned about a new virus that was rapidly spreading and quickly killing those who got sick with it. The nightly news reports got worse and worse, this Covid-19 virus was spreading around the world and killing increasingly large numbers of people. But he wa...

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The Sensitive Man

A man and a woman meet in a singles bar. They chat, they click, they connect. The fellow proposes that they continue their discussion over drinks at his place. The woman agrees.

They arrive at his apartment, and the woman is genuinely pleasantly surprised to see that, unlike a lot of bache...

Two men are walking down the street when they notice an enormous hole

The hole appears bottomless and the men, being men, want to see how deep it is. They find an anvil near by, grab a side each, shuffle over to the hole and chuck it in. The anvil drops like a stone but makes absolutely no noise. The men look at each other with a puzzled expression. Suddenly they hear...

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away

there were two evil friars living outside this small village. The friars had tried unsuccessfully to overtake and capture the town, but finally this time, they believed they had hit upon a foolproof scheme that would allow them to rule the village. They had, through mad scientist experiments in thei...

The guy is in the hospital on the verge of death,

full of tubes to keep him alive as long as possible. The family calls the priest to give him the final rites. When the priest sits at the head of the dying man, his condition seems to deteriorate rapidly, and he frantically gestures for something to write. The priest gives him a pad and a pen, and t...

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The Discovery of happiness

(English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammat mistakes xP)

A scientist, after many years of study managed to mathematically prove that having regular sex is the key to happiness. So, he decides to set up a conference, in which many people curious of his...

A priest visits a man on his deathbed...

When the priest walks over to the hospital bed, the man's condition worsens rapidly. He tries to speak, but can only produce a faint wheeze. Realising that the man is trying to utter his final words, the priest reaches for a pen and paper and gives it to him. As the man slowly hands the note back to...

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The derailed train

One day a group of businessmen were traveling to a meeting by train. The trip was going as usual, the passengers conversed and the meals were delivered. When the train entered an open area, it started rapidly slowing down causing everyone in it come flying across their seats. The train however didn'...

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A guy in full medieval armor walks into a bar

He sits down at the counter and asks the bartender for a gin and tonic.

The bartender preps the drink, but the armored man is visibly dissatisfied with the drink.

"Barkeep? Wouldst thou kindly rehome this drink in a larger glass?"

The bartender does so.

"Verily, I tha...

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The benefits of good health insurance

Queen Elizabeth II is taking a tour of a state of the art hospital. About 15 minuets into her tour she see's a man masturbating in one of the rooms. "What is the meaning of this?" she yells out. The nurse guiding the tour says "He has a medical condition where semen builds up rapidly and if he doesn...

Scooter

a man in a ferrari stops at a red light next to old guy on a scooter. he rolls down the window and says "this car can do 0.to.100 mph in less than the time your scooter starts to move..."

The old man nods in agreement and asks to peek in. The man let's him look in ... the old man is visibly i...

[Joke Request] Tell me your sheep jokes.

Hi /r/jokes.

I'm not much of a joke person. I never know any, and I don't even really enjoy them. Sorry.

But I have this (Welsh) friend see, who loves them - and it's become tradition that in between beers, he tells joke after joke while giving me a hard time about not knowing any. We ...

What do you call an Anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese!
-From *Cedar Rapids* the movie

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