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Expressly Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does the law society expressly prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

... To prevent the possibility of clients being billed twice for essentially the same service.

I refuse to accept non-binary

Quantum computers are expressly forbidden in this house.

(Everyone I know cringed, so I figured yall may like it.)

I was recently fired as a mechanic

I could not believe it, they called me a thief. Even though it expressly says in the contract that I am allowed to take brakes!

Baby Balloon

Baby balloon wants to get into mummy and daddy's bed.
Daddy says: No, son. You're too big and you've got your own bed, now off you go.

Baby balloon waits till mummy and daddy balloon are asleep and sneaks into bed beside them.
At first, there isn't much room, so he squeezes a bit of air...

Condom use on an aircraft

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight.
They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the
same thing.
He slips a condom out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.
Rear toilet? He suggests.
Five minutes, she agrees and goes off.
He waits five mi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Kardashian goes for cosmetic surgery...

So Kim goes to a cosmetic surgeon to get an ol' nip and tuck of her private parts. Getting rid of useless skin that’s attached to you is the 'in' thing to do these days, you know (no, I’m not talking about Kayne). Of course, she would like everyone involved in the operation to keep the affair high...

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