I got so out of shape during lockdown. I think I should start exercising by doing lunges.

That would be a big step forward.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I decided today that I needed to start exercising.

My fiance and I were making out, and she asked me if she could come on my tits.

An American is exercising in a gym

"This workout is intense," he huffs. "My heart is pounding."

"Eh?" says a fellow next to him.

"Oh sorry, I forget that you're European. My heart is 'kilogramming'," he replies.

"Oh yeah same," says the European.

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On Exercising

1 - My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where in the worldl she is.

2 - The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

3 - I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven'...

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Once i was just exercising ....

I heard something. I saw in front of me was a tiger.
I thought that he did not saw me, so I stood still. He started walking towards me. I was frightened. he started running towards me and jumped , BAM I threw the remote and broke the fucking tv screen.

I had intentions on exercising

It didn’t work out

[oc] Why was the devil exercising so hard?

He wanted to get a 666 pack.

It's a very busy day in heaven, so God tells the angel at the gate to only allow people in who've had a terrible last day on earth.

The angel calls the first guy up, and asks him how his last day on earth was. "Horrible! My last day on earth was the worst in my life! I came home from work early, because I was suspecting that my wife was cheating on me, and when I went into my house I saw her naked in bed! I checked all the cupbo...

If you see results after exercising and lifting weights does that mean it’s...

...working out?

What do you call a psychic that enjoys exercising moderation?

A happy medium.

(Came up with this in the shower this morning and chuckled.)

I thought my friend Flanders was exercising this Morning

Turns out he was doing Diddily Squat!

Exercising when you get older is so important!

My granny started walking 5 miles a day when she turned 65.

Now she's 92 and we don't know where the hell she is.

First trip to the USA

My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.

My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws. ...

I said to myself, "Thomas, today is the day you start eating healthy and exercising".

Thank God my name isn't Thomas!

I met an exercising nun.

She was a firm believer.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, my sex life is not very good, I can’t perform very well in bed.”

The doctor says, “You don’t look very fit, are you getting any exercise?” The man replied that he wasn’t exercising at all, so the doctor said, “I want you to walk 5 miles a day, then call me in a week and tell me if things have improved.” The man calls the doctor a week later and the doctor says, “...

People from the UK have been exercising more.

They've lost a few pounds.

My Doctor says I need to start exercising religiously.

So now I hit the gym on Christmas and Easter.

Just found out exercising...

...and exorcising are two very different things. Officially canceling my membership to the most terrifying gym ever. (via @wiseguypictures)

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