A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." ...
TIL the word “Manhattan” means “island of many hills” in the language of the original inhabitants and the hills were leveled as the city evolved.
I guess you could say it was man-flattened.
Evolution tells us we’ve evolved from apes.
I’m pretty sure we’ve evolved from crabs. You know why? Have you ever held a pair of tongs and NOT clicked them together? I rest my case.
Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.
For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.
Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases ...
A little girl asks her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answers, “Well, God made Adam and Eve and then they had kids. So all mankind was made.”
Two days later the little girl asks her father the exact same question.
The father answers, “Many years ago, there were monkeys from which the entire human race evolved.”
Whole world is ours
It was the year 2152, exactly 100 years after Obama has died. On that special anniversary he walked straight to god and asked him if he could get on earth for one day, to see how the USA has evolved since. God allowed that and sent him in New York.
In NY Obama went in a cafe and ordered some...
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't evolved yet
After about 1.8 trillion times a planet circled their star, the life-forms that evolved there launched a small craft with an artificial likeness of themselves into orbit. It was done to show that they could and because it amused them. Years later, after they made their planet uninhabitable, they lef...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
It is the year 2200
In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.
I used to be interested in dinosaurs as a kid, but I'm more into birds now.
I guess you could say my interests have really evolved.
A little girl asks her father where people came from.
He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.
Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's...
The smell of rain
Every loves the smell of rain. So fresh, so clean. But in actuality you can’t actually smell rain. What you smell is the world around you.
Way back in the day humans used to have to actually hunt their food. So if you were chasing down a deer and it started to rain you could easily lose the ...
“My grandfather knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die.”
“Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?”
“The judge told him.”
A Creationist and Atheist Debate
Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?
In response to the invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats
* Newton said he'd drop in. * Socrates said he'd think about it. * Ohm resisted the idea. * Boyle said he was under too much pressure. * Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved. * Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm. * Volta was electrified at the prospect. * Pavlov pos...
In the future, a millennial and his wife are lying in bed
The wife turns to the husband and says, "remember life before self-driving cars?"
The husband replies, "Yes, those days were quite the struggle. So glad we evolved past driving cars."
The wife says, "remember life before smartphones?"
The husband replies, "I sure do. What ...
A little girl goes to her father... (long)
"Dad, where do we come from?"
The father replies, "Well, a long time ago, God decided that he would create Adam, and then a wife for him Eve, to live here on earth. He allowed them to live here and have children and we come from them."
The girl, seemingly perplexed, then g...
Creation vs. Evolution
After a sermon on creation, a curious young boy asked, "Dad? How did we get here?" "Remember God created EVERYTHING in six days. On the sixth day, he scooped up some dust and made Adam. He took one of Adam's ribs and made Eve. They had kids and their kids had kids and so on, so that's how we'...
Tim the Conductor
Once upon a time there was a train conductor named Tim. Tim greatly enjoyed conducting his train around every day, and even though he had relatively poor pay, all was well in Tim's world. There was only one issue; Tim was a flat out *awful* conductor. He reduced the overall efficiency of all of the ...
Scientists vs God
One day the Worlds greatest scientists go to God
"God, we no longer need you, we have evolved to a point were we can create life even better then you."
"Oh, really?" God replied "A challenge then! Who ever can create the perfect being in one day from dust wins!"
"Fair enough" Re...
Daddy where do people come from?
Young boy is curious and asked his father where people come from dad says "well son it goes way back to Adam and eve and they were mother and father to everyone" Young boy still confused asks his mother "Mommy where do people come from?" She responds with "well after years of evolution w...