TIL the word “Manhattan” means “island of many hills” in the language of the original inhabitants and the hills were leveled as the city evolved.

I guess you could say it was man-flattened.

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"

So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You li...

Evolution tells us we’ve evolved from apes.

I’m pretty sure we’ve evolved from crabs. You know why? Have you ever held a pair of tongs and NOT clicked them together? I rest my case.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Gay people are less evolved than everyone else

When they get turned on, they're practically Homo Erectus.

(note: its a joke, dont get offended. im gay myself)

Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.

For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases ...

A little girl asks her mother, “How did the human race appear?”

The mother answers, “Well, God made Adam and Eve and then they had kids. So all mankind was made.”

Two days later the little girl asks her father the exact same question.

The father answers, “Many years ago, there were monkeys from which the entire human race evolved.”

The co...

I used to be interested in dinosaurs as a kid, but I'm more into birds now.

I guess you could say my interests have really evolved.

The Test

After about 1.8 trillion times a planet circled their star, the life-forms that evolved there launched a small craft with an artificial likeness of themselves into orbit. It was done to show that they could and because it amused them. Years later, after they made their planet uninhabitable, they lef...

Whole world is ours

It was the year 2152, exactly 100 years after Obama has died. On that special anniversary he walked straight to god and asked him if he could get on earth for one day, to see how the USA has evolved since. God allowed that and sent him in New York.

In NY Obama went in a cafe and ordered some...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It is the year 2200

In a small city lived a master fisherman. This fisherman was famous throughout the world for being able to catch numerous amounts of fish in any body of water. Now, fish these days have mutated and changed quite a bit, but this fisherman was able to catch them all with little to no effort.

On...

The smell of rain

Every loves the smell of rain. So fresh, so clean. But in actuality you can’t actually smell rain. What you smell is the world around you.

Way back in the day humans used to have to actually hunt their food. So if you were chasing down a deer and it started to rain you could easily lose the ...

A little girl asks her father where people came from.

He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.

Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's...

“My grandfather knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die.”

“Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?”

“The judge told him.”

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual REUNION of all time greats

* Newton said he'd drop in.
* Socrates said he'd think about it.
* Ohm resisted the idea.
* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.
* Darwin said he'd wait to see what evolved.
* Pierre and Marie Curie radiated enthusiasm.
* Volta was electrified at the prospect.
* Pavlov pos...

A Creationist and Atheist Debate

Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?

All 'Why did the chicken cross the road' jokes I know

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice? ...

A little girl goes to her father... (long)

"Dad, where do we come from?"


The father replies, "Well, a long time ago, God decided that he would create Adam, and then a wife for him Eve, to live here on earth. He allowed them to live here and have children and we come from them."


The girl, seemingly perplexed, then g...

Creation vs. Evolution

After a sermon on creation, a curious young boy asked, "Dad? How did we get here?"
"Remember God created EVERYTHING in six days. On the sixth day, he scooped up some dust and made Adam. He took one of Adam's ribs and made Eve. They had kids and their kids had kids and so on, so that's how we'...

Tim the Conductor

Once upon a time there was a train conductor named Tim. Tim greatly enjoyed conducting his train around every day, and even though he had relatively poor pay, all was well in Tim's world. There was only one issue; Tim was a flat out *awful* conductor. He reduced the overall efficiency of all of the ...

Scientists vs God

One day the Worlds greatest scientists go to God

"God, we no longer need you, we have evolved to a point were we can create life even better then you."

"Oh, really?" God replied "A challenge then! Who ever can create the perfect being in one day from dust wins!"

"Fair enough" Re...

Daddy where do people come from?

Young boy is curious and asked his father where people come from
dad says "well son it goes way back to Adam and eve and they were mother and father to everyone"
Young boy still confused asks his mother
"Mommy where do people come from?"
She responds with "well after years of evolution w...

Why did the t-rex cross the road?

Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

FEAR and SEX at the grocery store...

The other day I was getting ready to check out at the grocery store. I decided to use the self check out station since I only had a few items.

I tapped on the screen to begin my transaction and was promptly asked to input my phone number (for extra savings, of course) and began scanning my it...

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