UPJOKE
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How did Charles Darwin propose to his wife?

He said that she was his natural selection.

Middle school for me was like Charles Darwin…

Naturally, I wasn’t selected by anybody.

What did Charles Darwin say to the animals he discovered

"Naturally I've selected you all for dinner"

What does Charles Darwin use to moisturise his skin?

Evo-lotion.

I had a party for the worlds greatest historical figures, here are their RSVPs

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Marie Curie: "I am radiating enthusiasm."

Ivan Pavlov: "I'm positively drooling at the thought."

Albert Einstein: "It will ...

[Punchline wanted] Charles Darwin, Jean-Baptiste Lamarck, and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. To their surprise, the bartender is a monkey.

Lamarck notes that the monkey's arms have become long from reaching for bottles on the high shelves. Darwin disagrees, saying that the monkey got the job because it was born with long arms. Jerry Lewis looks at the both of them, and says…

Sorry, SimLife couldn't get a needed punch line.
...

If you were to steal a historical figures research notebooks what you steal?

Charles Darwin’s would be my natural selection.

A man is standing on a cliff and says to his wife “I bet I can make it to the bottom faster than you!”. She agrees to the bet and they both jump off at the same time. Who wins?

Charles Darwin

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