Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.

Einstein opens his eyes and sa...

Albert Einstein was sitting next to a man on a train

Trying to break the boredom, Einstein said "let's play a simple game, I ask you a question, if you can't answer, you give me $5, then you ask me a question, if I can't answer, I give you $500"

The man thought for a while and then said ok

Einstein starts by asking the man "what's Newton...

My friend found out that Albert Einstein was a real guy

He thought he was just a theoretical physicist

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things!"

The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I‘be attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could give the speech ...

Albert Einstein had a brother named Frank.

But he was a real monster.

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What do you call it when Einstein masturbates?

A stroke of genius

Albert Einstein once said: "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

He was probably talking about the 18th Amendment.

My Nan recently claimed that she once gave a handjob to Albert Einstein...

What a stroke of genius.

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Why was Einstein horrified by PornHub?

Everything was relatives.

Albert Einstein was a musician throughout his life. He had a phase where he experimented with hip hop. His rapper name was

MC squared

Albert Einstein

developed a theory about space. And, boy, it was about time, too!

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.

Einstein: asks a question.

Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
...

Was Einstein's theory good?

Relatively

Einstein says that object with high mass distorts time.

I bet he was inspired by China's time zone system.

Why did Einstein invite time to his wedding?

Because it was relative.

Einstein, Hawking, Heisenberg and Schrödinger formed a band.

It's called "The Inconvenient Truths."

They play music with that old Al Gore Rhythm.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN:...

Did you hear about that time Einstein panicked while hosting an awards show?

He equals emcee scared.

Einstein and his wife are going through a tough time in their marriage.

Einstein: Tell me what you need, I'm here to help.

Wife: I just need two things right now, some space and time.

Einstein: Ok, so what's the second thing?

was einstein an actual person?

my friend says he is, but im pretty sure he's a theoretical physicist

Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein starts counting "1...2...3..." and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. Instead of hiding Newton knees down and draws a square of one meter side length. Then he steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells "Newton I have found you!" But Newton replies...

A bar walks into Einstein.

Oops, bad choice of reference frame.

Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.

His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.

I'm smarter than Einstein, Hawking, Da Vinci and Aristotle combined...

cuz ther al ded

Einstein's second wife was his cousin ...

... so I guess sometimes love is relative.

What is Albert Einstein's rapper name?

MC Squared!

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek. Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them.

Pascal is nowhere to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side.

Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"

Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per...

Guys, I just read something on the internet saying that Albert Einstein may not have existed!

Turns out he's just a theoretical physicist.

Newton, Einstein and Pascal meet in Heaven.

They’re bored, so Einstein suggests they play hide and seek. Einstein starts counting to 10. Pascal runs to find a good hiding spot, Newton on the other hand stays in place. He draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square with chalk on the ground and stands in it. Einstein finished counting, turns around, noti...

Albert Einstein & an indian man sat next to each other on a plane.

Einstein told him that he is a great scientists from Germany. Einstein tells him

"I’ll ask you a question and if you’re not able to answer it, you will give me 5$, then you’ll ask me a question and if I’m not able to answer then I will give you 500$.”

The man thinks 5$ : 500$ seems l...

Einstein walks into an bar with his brother, Eduard, a frequenter of the bar.

Once in the bar, Eduard sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Einstein does too.
The English bartender sees Einstein and says 'Who're you? I haven't seen you here before."
Eduard, in broken English, responds "This is Albert Einstein. He is brother."
The bartender raises an eyebrow....

Albert Einstein married his cousin Elsa

Even his marriage was relative.

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."

Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"

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Sitting on a cloud in Heaven, Einstein tries to explain Hitler relativity theory. When finished, Einstein asks Hitler "Did you get me?"

"No," replies Hitler, "you died of old age."

Marie Curie was a brilliant physicist but Einstein was exponentially smarter than her.

E = M.C.²

Albert Einstein once published a paper about why he married his second wife.

I call it: The Theory of Relativity.

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Einstein's Catholic Friend (OC)

Einstein's Catholic friend was constantly pestering Einstein to attend church services with him.

"Albert, why can't you come this Sunday? You wouldn't want to miss mass."

Finally, Einstein agrees to attend service with his friend.

After the service, his friend asked what Einstei...

Albert Einstein was on his way to a convention.

He was talking to his car driver along the way.”You know, this gets boring after a while.” So the car driver responds with,” Then why don’t we trade places, you be the driver and I will be you!”

Einstein loved that idea, and immediately switched clothes with his driver.

As they pulled...

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Einstein sits next to a man on a long flight.

Einstein says,"Let's play a game. I will ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you will pay me only $5; but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500". The man agrees and the game proceeds.

Einstein asks the first question, “What is the distance between the Earth and the...

Albert Einstein once famously said...

"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"

Einstein was once travelling from Princeton on a train

When the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger.

When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it.

Then h...

Calling someone an “Einstein” is overrated.

Whenever someone acts smart around me, I just say, “Wow, you’re like a walking, talking, Steven Hawking.”

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"

Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Albert Einstein gets tricked

A man and Albert Einstein are sitting next to each other on a plane. Einstein keeps turning to the man and talking about how smart he is. Saying stuff like “oh people say in the smartest man alive”, or “I’m just so incredibly smart.” The man just ignores all of this and just reads his book. Finally ...

Why can Einstein rank only 2nd among all physics?

Newton's first law

Albert Einstein walked into a bar at 99 percent the speed of light.

The bartender said, "Why the short face?"

A newly released document from the CIA reveals that except his sister - Maja Einstein, Albert Einstein had a younger brother from another father.

His name was revealed to be Barrett Zweistein.

I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein proposed The Theory of Relativity.

Feels like only yesterday.

Einstein dies and goes to heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to

sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a ...

Einstein and the Arabic guy

Einstein and an Arabic guy were on a long long train ride so Einstein said:

"Let's play a game, I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you give me $5"

And the Arabic guy responded, "If I ask you a question and you don't know the answer you give me $100"

They agree...

Einstein: Dad, my paper on the Theory of Relativity finally got published!!

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!

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What did Einstein discover staring at his cousin's cleavage?

The 'Theory of Relative- Titty.'

Not to brag, but I consider myself as a mix between Rambo and Einstein...

...I have Rambo's intelligence and Einstein's muscles.

Einstein is on a train leaving New York.

He leans over to another passenger and asks, "excuse me, do you know if Boston stops at this train?"

Newton, Pascal and Einstein go to play hide and seek...

Newton, Pascal and Einstein go to play hide and seek. Einstein became the seeker, so Newton and Pascal ran to find their hiding spots. Einstein finished counting and went to search. He saw Newton still lingering around.

Einstein: "You're it!"

Newton: "No. I am Newton who is upon a 1 m^...

According to Einstein Mass Can Be Converted Into Energy

But it's just a cover-up, he was a mass murderer.

Why didnt Einstein ever go on a date?

Because to him-everything was relative!

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.

One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech-making.

"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times...

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A 10 year old and Albert Einstein play a game

Both of them will take turns to ask each other a question and if one can't answer the other's question, he has to pay the other a sum of money.

To make the game fair, if the boy fails to answer a question, he only has to pay Einstein 5 dollars, on the other hand, if Einstein fails, he has to...

One day, Albert Einstein was about to give a speech at a university.

"I hate these damn speeches," Albert says to his driver, who shares some similarities with him.

"Well, as your driver, I have to go to all of them. I don't know the science, but I can do the speech for you."

"Great idea!" Says Einstein."Let's switch places!" So, Albert and his driver s...

Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies.

His name was Frank.

What's the opposite of Albert Einstein?

Alabama, because relatives is everything.

Albert Einstein, Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

They play rock-paper-scissors to choose the seeker. A. Einstein is left so he has to be te seeker. He starts counting down from 10.

Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.

Einstein's countdown ends. 3.......

Einstein walks into a bar with his favourite cousin

The barman says "Hi Albert, it's nice to see you both again, but how come we never see the rest of the family?"

Einstein responds "Well you know, with this special relative it's easier for me, if I invite general relatives it just gets too complicated"

Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal were playing hide and seek in heaven..

It was Einstein's turn to find them.

Pascal went and hide behind the bushes.

But Newton just stood on a 1M *1M tile..

Einstein came out and shouted "Newton, you are out!"

Newton replied " No, actually you are out, as I am Pascal"

Einstein: "Elaborate..."

"As...

According to Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...

Everyone is attracted to you. At least a little bit.

If it's right that from each mistake you make you learn something

Then i must be Albert Einstein

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are hanging out one afternoon...

Einstein is bored, so he suggests a game of hide and seek and pretends to be "It". The others agree, so Einstein begins counting, "One...Two...Three.."

Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide. But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a mid sized square. He finishes an...

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