Quantum Physics Jokes

I don't always make jokes about Quantum Physics, but when I do, I don't

I could explain to you quantum physics and you wouldn't understand a thing.

Not because it's hard but because I'm bad at explaining.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was working on my quantum physics homework when my mom came barging in...

I switched to porn because it was easier to explain

I was watching a really good documentary about Quantum physics the other day

But I decided to stop watching in case I affected the outcome

Why is quantum physics so much harder than regular physics?

Because in regular physics, if something can go wrong, it will.

But in quantum physics, if something *could* go wrong, it will.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do sex and quantum physics have in common?

I don't get either of them.

What's the difference between Quantum Physics and Politics?

In politics, the results won't change no matter how you measure them.

Quantum physics has its ups and downs

But it all quarks out in the end

Two electrons were following quantum physics principles, as usual, while exchanging virtual protons to conduct an electric current

One electron said to the other, "This quantum trading stuff sounds like imaginary nonsense; if I can carry meaningful information faster than the speed of light, then I will."

The remaining electron watched his former partner depart into the nether, sighed, then said to his collar microphone,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quantum physics joke

Heisenberg and Schrodinger were driving. Heisenberg was on the wheel and Schrodinger was the passenger.

A cop pulls them over and asks Heisenberg: "Do you know the speed at which you were driving?". Heisenberg replies "No, I was looking out the window, I would rather know where I am.".
...

"What are you reading?"

"Quantum physics"

"And why are you holding the book upside down?"

"Doesn't make any difference"

What's the opposite of quantum physics?

Logic.

(If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin')

...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).

My friend thinks the Canadian prime minister does not know quantum physics.

I know it's trudeau.

My 8 year old son wants to be a comedian.

He also like quantum physics, so I suggested he make up some jokes. Here's the first two.

What so you call a particle who likes taking pictures?
A photongrapher

Why did the apple fall out of the tree?
It ran out of gluons.

If you have any Similar he'd love to hear them and...

A man walked into a bar and order a drink for himself and the empty seat next to him.

The bartender, perplexed as to why the man would order a drink for an empty chair, made two drinks for the man and the empty chair.
This seemed to happen every time the man entered the bar. He would order a drink for himself and an empty chair next to him.
Finally, curiosity overtook the barm...

I noticed a nuclear fusion reactor the other day in my backyard.

While in my backyard the other day, I noticed a large gravitationally confined plasma thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. Being an engineer, I saw that it was radiating huge amounts of energy at very high velocity in the form of incredibly high frequency transversely polarized Maxwellian electromagnetic ...

This is a decent joke but it's relatable at least

Cool quantum physics fact!

When cooled, helium becomes a superfluid! To get to this state, it has to be cooled to a very very cold temperature. About -270 C!

That's almost as cold as my bed every night ;-;

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A duck walks into my chemistry class

So, a duck walked into my chemistry class. The teacher jumped up and started shooing it out, but one kid gets between them and says "No, don't! Haven't you heard of this duck? He's a genius!" The teacher knows the kid is lying, but doesn't see the harm in humoring him, so she asks the kid to prove h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Goldfish, man, you made me so happy, I'll do anything for you...

This is long, so bear with me.
So I was fishing at this pond close to home, see. And all day I was fishing, with nothing biting. Just as the sun was setting, something was finally tugging and wouldn't you know, the most brightly coloured gold FISH(!) was at the end of my fishing string. And w...

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