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I tired to make a joke about Manchester United's Munich Air Disaster.

But it didn't land well.

At Munich Airport

A young man approaches an Olympic athlete carrying a long pole and asks “are you a pole vaulter?”

The man clearly annoyed responds “no, I’m German, and how did you know my name is Walter?!”

Bayern Munich won't need breakfast, lunch, or dinner tommorow, because they

8-2 much.
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A German is trying to to make his way to Paris

At the border, the French customs agent asks him


“Hans Mueller.”

“Place of residence?”



“No, just vacation this time.”

After my flight arrival in Munich . . .

After my flight arrival in Munich I was going through customs and was spoken to in German by the customs agent.

I obviously looked perplexed, and so the agent asked me in English if I at least knew a little German.

I said "Sure, his name is Gunther and he's about four foot, nine inche...

The German Lifeguard

A group of friends were on a boat in Munich when the hull was breached.

They quickly called for the German Life Guard yelling "Help we're sinking!"

The Life Guard asked "Ja, vat are you sinking about?"

German guy at the French border.

A German guy is at the French border.

The French customs officer asks him some questions.


*-Karl Schmidt.*

-Place of Residence?



*-Oh, no, no. I'm just visiting.*

(Translated from an /r/French comment: ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jews leave Russia.

One goes to Israel and the other goes to Germany. One year later, they get together.

"Moishe, I really love Israel. I live in Haifa, I opened up my own shop, the weather is nice, and everybody speaks my language. What more can I ask for?" His friend replies:

"You know, Abram, I'm not d...

In the 1900s an English town had fallen on really hard times

For decades its primary industry had been its textile mills, but now the mills were all closed and unemployment was at an all-time high.

Desperate, the town's mayor looked frantically around for other industries to bring to his town. He found that there was a man in Germany who waslooking fo...

What do you call a castrated German?

A Munich

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