I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein proposed The Theory of Relativity.

Feels like only yesterday.

According to Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...

Everyone is attracted to you. At least a little bit.

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A professor was teaching the theory of relativity...

when a late student came into class.

The student asked, "what did I miss?"

"it's about damn time." The professor replied.

I started to read a book on general relativity

But I got lost in time

Relativity theory

In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.

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Explain the difference between theory and relativity

Little Johnny's teacher gives the class a homework assignment, "Explain the difference between a theory and reality." Little Johnny goes home and is so stumped he asks his sisters ages 21 and 16 for help, and they can't come up with anything either. He then tries asking his father. The father thinks...

Einstein: Dad, my paper on the Theory of Relativity finally got published!!

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!

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Sitting on a cloud in Heaven, Einstein tries to explain Hitler relativity theory. When finished, Einstein asks Hitler "Did you get me?"

"No," replies Hitler, "you died of old age."

Relativity joke (most won't get)

A cop stops a driver for driving a red light.

In court, the man claims: "the light looked green to me", so they charged him for speeding

How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Relativity

A student is taking the train back to MIT, and realizes that Albert Einstein just sat down in the seat next to him! Excitedly, the student asks: "Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?"

For my PhD thesis, I wanted to write the best researched paper about General Relativity

But I ran out of time so I failed.

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I tried reading Einstein's original paper on special relativity.

Night after night for 6 months I tried to understand it. I tried everything. I looked through previous publications to understand the knowledge at the time. I tried to work through some problems and I thought about the theories in novel ways to try to get an intuitive grasp or even any at all. It pr...

What does an incestuous physicist study?

The theory of relativity.

"According to relativity, time itself travels at the speed of light, but along the imaginary axis."

"i c"

My SO told me she had never heard of Einstein's Theory of Relativity before today.

I said, "It's about time!"

Santa is entangled

Eureka! I have it. Santa's wave function is entangled with the wave functions of all non-naughty kids and all presents. Observation on Christmas morning collapses the wave function, so presents appear instantaneously under the trees of all good kids. No violation of relativity in Santa's travel. ...

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The only thing that matters about penis size is how it compares to your significant other's past lovers.

It's the theory of genital relativity.

A man walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

"What happened?" The man asks as he downs his drink.

"There's a dragon 10km east from here." The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east an...

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