How do you offend a photon?

You tell it that it doesn't matter.

A cop pulled over a spanish photon...

The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The photon said, "c."

Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?

He needed a light snack

How is a photon like an abandoned church?

They have no mass

What does a photon and a pirate have in common?

They both travel at c.

What do you call a photon that flies a plane?

A pilot light.

A photon checks into a hotel

A photon checks into a hotel and the lady at the desk asks him: "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies: "No I'm travelling light"

I bought a book about photons the other day

It was for a bit of light reading

What do you think of photons being massless?

-Doesn't matter!

What did one photon say to the other as they passed by each other?

Nothing, they just waved~

An photon was walking through customs, and gets stopped by a TSA officer

The woman says “where are your bags?”
The photon replies “I’m traveling light”

A Photon and an Ion went to the airport

A photon and an ion went to the airport. When they got there, the other
passengers were surprised to see the ion handed his ticket without
paying, and the photon get waved through security. "What gives?" an
irate passenger asked. "Why does the photon get to go through
security?" "Oh," sa...

The electron asked the photon, “Have you packed a suitcase?”

The photon said, “No, I’m travelling light.”

Why don’t photons carry suitcases on vacation?

They travel light.

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

How heavy are photons?

They’re lightweight.

A spanish photon walks into a bar

The bartender says "What'll it be?"

The photon says "Una cerveza por favor."

A few minute later the bartender comes back and the beer is finished so he says "Hey buddy, want another?"

The photon replies "No mas."

Why are photons the saddest particles?

They keep hearing people say that they don't matter.

How can photons bend so easily?

They practice light yoga

What's the difference between a futon and a photon?

One is kinda heavy and the other's really light.

How do we know photons are massless?

They're traveling light.

What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common?

Both full of energy and momentum, both lacking substance.

Photons from a rainbow hit you at almost 300 million m/s and you don’t even flinch

I guess they are pretty light

Two Photons enter a bar.

Two Photons Finish their shift at their job, hop a cab and head to a bar.
They enter the bar and the bartender asks "Are you coming or leaving?" One of the photons replies "Isn't it obvious?"
The bartender replies "No, I'm colorblind.

Photons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

How heavy is a photon?

I don't know, but it's probably light-weight

Being autistic is a bit like being a photon...

Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible.

(source: am autistic)

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bellhop says "can I take your bags?"

"No," she answers, "I'm traveling light."

*(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*

A Hispanic photon walks into a bar

No mas

What did the Spanish photon say when it had finally had enough of being the electromagnetic force carrier?

No mas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Photons don't have mass.

Does that mean that the light of God doesn't go to church?

What do you need to split a photon?

A lightsabre

What happens to criminal photons?

They get put in prism!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere...

I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!

A photon checks into a hotel..

The bellhop says: "Can I get your bags?"

The photon says: "that's ok, I'm traveling light"

- I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness

Photon is massless, hence it can travel with the speed of light. The energy of a photon is given by E=pc where p is the momentum of the photon. What do you call those special photons that has mass?


A photon both raises his hand and shouts "Goodbye!"

It's a wave and a parting call.

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

because Happy Hour ended.

I saw a photon go by... seemed friendly, but it didn't wave.

Nerd joke

A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't we see photons having sex?

They do it in the super-position.

A photon walks into a bar...

And he asks the barman for some peanuts.

The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve light snacks."

I always hear that many hands make light work...

But I'm pretty sure that that's photons.

Try this...

Two photons walk into a bar...

One says to the bartender "Don't you know who I am?"

The other answers for the bartender, "No, he doesn't even know who he is..."

The bartender lights a candle... from both ends.

The flea jumping competition begins

Fleas from all over the country have gathered here today to take part in the contest. Expect an incredible show.


Team 1 from Muts-4-homes Animal Shelter take the stage.


The team lines up on the platform...


6 --
5 --

A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”


What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

Chemistry Joke

Do Photons have mass?

No. They are agnostic.

While defending the relevance of his laser experiments, the scientist shouted,

"Photons matter!"

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