How do you offend a photon?

You tell it that it doesn't matter.

A photon checks into a hotel...

The receptionist asks him if he needs help with any baggage.

"No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?

He needed a light snack

A photon tries to go through airport security fast, but is stopped. "Don't you have any luggage" asks the security agent.

The photon replies. "No I'm travelling light".

I bought a book about photons the other day

It was for a bit of light reading

I always hear that many hands make light work...

But I'm pretty sure that that's photons.

Photons hit you at over 300,000,000,00 m/s, and yet you don't even flinch.

It must be because they're so light.

What does a photon and a pirate have in common?

They both travel at c.

Photons are just unappreciated

But i guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

What do you think of photons being massless?

-Doesn't matter!

A cop pulled over a spanish photon...

The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The photon said, "c."

A spanish photon walks into a bar

The bartender says "What'll it be?"

The photon says "Una cerveza por favor."

A few minute later the bartender comes back and the beer is finished so he says "Hey buddy, want another?"

The photon replies "No mas."

Why are photons the saddest particles?

They keep hearing people say that they don't matter.

How can photons bend so easily?

They practice light yoga

What did one photon say to the other as they passed by each other?

Nothing, they just waved~

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

Photons from a rainbow hit you at almost 300 million m/s and you don’t even flinch

I guess they are pretty light

What's the difference between a futon and a photon?

One is kinda heavy and the other's really light.

I just had to carry a box of photons

It was surprisingly light

Photons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.

What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common?

Both full of energy and momentum, both lacking substance.

How heavy is a photon?

I don't know, but it's probably light-weight

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bellhop says "can I take your bags?"

"No," she answers, "I'm traveling light."

*(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*

A Hispanic photon walks into a bar

No mas

Two Photons enter a bar.

Two Photons Finish their shift at their job, hop a cab and head to a bar.
They enter the bar and the bartender asks "Are you coming or leaving?" One of the photons replies "Isn't it obvious?"
The bartender replies "No, I'm colorblind.

Being autistic is a bit like being a photon...

Getting from here to someplace else is instantaneous, but what happens in between is incomprehensible.

(source: am autistic)

What did the Spanish photon say when it had finally had enough of being the electromagnetic force carrier?

No mas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Photons don't have mass.

Does that mean that the light of God doesn't go to church?

A photon checks into a hotel..

The bellhop says: "Can I get your bags?"

The photon says: "that's ok, I'm traveling light"



- I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere...

I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!

So I took a practice test on photons today...

It didn't matter.

What happens to criminal photons?

They get put in prism!

What do you need to split a photon?

A lightsabre

A photon both raises his hand and shouts "Goodbye!"

It's a wave and a parting call.

Why did the photon stop drinking after traveling 670 million miles?

because Happy Hour ended.

Try this...

Two photons walk into a bar...

One says to the bartender "Don't you know who I am?"

The other answers for the bartender, "No, he doesn't even know who he is..."

The bartender lights a candle... from both ends.

Nerd joke

A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."

What sound do two photons make when they hit each other?

\*Planck!*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't we see photons having sex?

They do it in the super-position.

A photon walks into a bar...

And he asks the barman for some peanuts.

The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve light snacks."

I saw a photon go by...

...it seemed friendly, but it didn't wave.

The other day I heard that photons have mass

Who would have thought that they we catholic?

A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

 

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

The flea jumping competition begins

Fleas from all over the country have gathered here today to take part in the contest. Expect an incredible show.

=

Team 1 from Muts-4-homes Animal Shelter take the stage.

=

The team lines up on the platform...

=

6 --
5 --
...

Chemistry Joke

Do Photons have mass?

No. They are agnostic.

How much does a truck made of light weigh?

Photons

While defending the relevance of his laser experiments, the scientist shouted,

"Photons matter!"

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