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Double Entendre Jokes

One time, I wrote down so many double entendres...

...I had to rub one out.

A pun, a play on words, and a double entendre walk into a bar...

No joke.

A beautiful woman walks into a bar. "What'll it be?" asks the bartender. "I'll have a double entendre," she said...

So he gave it to her.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest

So I entered my friend

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience, but I was today years old when I realized that this joke is actually a fairly clever double entendre. I always thought it was a dumb “of course” punchline and it never remotely occurred to me that it had to do wit...

The man who invented the double entendre died last week.

His wife's taking it hard.

I gotta stop the filthy double entendre jokes

But it's so, so hard

I can't find a nice girl who wants to play Double Entendre Monopoly with me.

They all leave after collecting $200.

A guy walks into a bar....

The bar tender ask "what can I get you?"

The man's says "I'll have an entendre."

The bartender asks "would you like a single or a double?"

The man says "I think I'll have a double entendre."

The bartender says with a smirk "So you want the big one."

What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres?

PUNisher

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm trying to give up Viagra and improve my double entendres.....

But it's not easy

I was sitting at my desk, trying to think of a double entendre...

...but it got really hard.

My mom had two conjoined sisters and both of their names were Andra. When they were murdered, I gave up joking.

And mourned my double entendres.

Carpet fitters

An attractive lady hires two carpet fitters to replace the carpet in her sitting room after her pet parrot had made a terrible mess of the old carpet.
The two carpet fitters were stereotypical blue collar workers but had enough respect not to make any lewd jokes or double entendre at her expense...

Why is it so hard to explain a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They don't understand the subtle nuances of the English language, so they can't pick up on the double entendres needed to appreciate a good pun. It may be a generalization, but in my experience that's how it works out.

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