Last week I saw I noose tying tutorial

It was breathtaking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey man, I need help tying my turds together.

I shit, you knot.

What did the flower say when asked why he was having trouble tying his shoes?

Sometimes I forget me nots.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a snowy, cold winter day...

On a snowy, cold winter day, a priest decides to go visit his brother. Because the path is all snowy, it takes him much longer than he expected.

It was already pitch dark when he sees a light... He decides to follow it and when he comes to it, there is a monastery full of nuns. He knocks and ...

How did Snoop Dogg get his Knot Tying merit badge?

With his hitches and bows.

About the chicken and a donkey

On the farm lived a Chicken and a Donkey, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing when the Donkey fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the donkey 'hee-hawed' for the chicken to go get the Farmer for help!
Off the Chicken ran, back to the farm. Arri...

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My grandad told this one to his friend and I kinda overheard it and knew where it should belong

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into ...

I saw my mother-in-law tying herself to the train tracks. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing.

I looked at her, my eyes widened, and said, "Don't do it!"

"Why the hell not?!" she yelled.

I said, "They aren't running today."

I tried tying a noose once...

... I never got the hang of it.

Wearing two masks can keep yourself and others even safer from covid than just one, but...

tying a plastic bag over your head can keep you safe from covid for the rest of your life.

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A Dad walks in on his daughter in the bedroom with her boyfriend tying her up to the four post bed...

"Dad!" She screams, "I'm Sorry!"

"Hi, Sorry, I'm Dad." turning to the boyfriend, who's standing there holding a silk tie in his hands

"Are you fucking sorry?"

"No, I'm just here, re-posting"

Just finished buying the family Christmas tree and as the clerk was tying it down he asked me, "So you plan on putting this up yourself then?"

"No you sicko- I was thinking in front of the window in the den."

My friend: I am the best at tying strings together.

Me: Know your knot!

Did you hear about the new toll for tying shoes?

It's knot fare

I started teaching a rope tying class a couple hours before a depression support group

It was incredibly successful but it died out quick

Tomorrow I'm tying the knot!

And kicking the chair.

Why didn't Santa go to the rope tying convention?

Because they're all on the knotty list.

A man dedicated his life to tying bits of string together.

Unfortunately, it was all for knot.

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