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Quadruple Jokes

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A penis has a wonderful life.....for the optimists!

His two closest friends hang around and constantly update him on the weather.

His best friend is a pussy.

He never has to comb his hair.

He can quadruple in size and stand up if he really wants to see something.

He can take over all his hosts functions and thoughts whenev...

Amazingly, the man that broke into my house is actually a quadruple amputee

...thanks to my bullmastiff.

What do you call a quadruple amputee waiting by your door?

Matt

What to you call the quadruple amputee on your doorstep?

Matt.


What do you call him when he's in the pool?

Bob.


What do you call him when he's nailed to the wall?

Art.


What do you call him if he's in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A quadruple amputee goes to the beach...

A quadruple amputee goes to the beach. A man walks by her and she calls him over. The man asks if he can help her. She says because of her disability, she is not involved in much sexual activity and asks if she can give him a blow job. The man says sure and proceeds to get a blow job. After she is d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A quadruple amputee is sitting on a beach crying...

A man walks up and asks "Excuse me ma'am, why are you crying?

"I've never been hugged."
He picks her up, hugs her, and walks away.

A while later, another man strolls by. He stops and asks "Im sorry to bother you, but why are you crying?"

"I've never been kissed." she replies....

A quadruple amputee is opening his present on christmas.

He crawls over to the tree and tears in to the wrapping with his teeth. The paper flies everywhere as the present is revealed.

"Not another hat..."

what happens to a potato after the plot of soil it is growing in quadruples in value?

it becomes an affluent-tato

Recently I quadrupled all of the money to my name.

0 x 4 = 0

What do you call a quadruple amputee who's a member of organized crime?

The head

What do you call a military base that has quadrupled in size?

Four-tified

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A man is trying to decide which woman to marry...

He is picking out of three women. In order to test which one he should marry he gave each one of them $5000 to see what they would do.

The first woman spends her money on new clothes, lingerie, and a total makeover. She tells him she did it because she loves him so much and wants to look gre...

Three fishermen were out fishing when they suddenly came upon a mermaid.....

The mermaid offered them one wish each,


so the first fisherman said:

"Double my IQ!"


So the mermaid did and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said:

"Triple my IQ!"

Sure enough the mermaid did and amazing...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a blind deer?

What do you call a blind deer?

No eye-deer.

What do you call a blind, dickless deer?

No fucking eye-deer.

What do you call a blind, dickless, quadruple amputee deer?

Still no fucking eye-dear.

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