I hate Indian givers.

I take that back.

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A priest and nun are traveling through the desert when their camel suddenly dies

They are stranded there distraught and sure to die. Finally the priest looks at the nun and says,

“Sister, I have to be honest with you, being a man of God I have never looked upon the body of a naked woman and, as we are sure to die, I would like to see one before I go.”

The nun looks...

A blonde enters a math contest

All her blonde friends are there in the crowd to support her.

The host proceeds to ask her the first question: "What is 11 x 3?"

The blonde thinks for a minute, and responds: "30?"

The crowd suddenly erupts: "Give her one more chance, give her one more chance."

The host a...

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My father ladies and gentlemen...

So, when we were younger we used to run a single line off the back of one of the snowmobiles, put a splitter on her with two lengths of ski rope about 25' long, gear up with helmets and suits, and throw two guys on on those flying saucers, (you know, like the ones on National Lampoon's Vacation) and...

Lindsey was at the country club for his weekly round of golf.

He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang... it was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in an accident and was in critical condition in the ICU.

...

A man goes into a Massage Parlor for his first Thai Massage

He's a little nervous because he's never gotten one before.

Before they start the woman asks him if he has any questions.

He says, "What should I expect?"

She replies, "Well you'll wear loose, comfortable clothing and lie on a mat. Traditional Thai massage uses no oils or lotio...

What do Canadians say when exchanging gifts?

Just giver

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A woman with no arms or legs..

Is crying on a bench at the beach, i approach her "hey honey, whats the matter?" i say, she looks at me tears streaming down her face "ive never had a man hug me" she says, so i sit next to her and giver a her a nice hug she again looks at me still very upset "i have never been kissed by a man" she ...

Guy takes a hooker out for supper.

He giver her his peas, she gives him herpes.

What do you call a person who falls for a tech support scam?

An Indian giver.

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A visitor to a small town goes into the local pub...

He sees an old man practically crying into his beer at the end of the bar. He goes to ask what's wrong. The old man tells him,
"Mister, I grew up in this town. As a young man I went off to war to help protect this village from those who would destroy it. Now, do they call me Jacob the Soldier?...

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The Hen Joke

Sorry if this is a retread, but I've always liked this one...

Dave comes home after a long night of drinking at his favorite bar. His wife is asleep, so he tiptoes into the dark bedroom, undresses, puts on his pajamas, and slips into bed beside her. Moments later, he becomes aware of a tall...

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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together...

....discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father

The second Catholic woman chirps, Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, Your Grace

The third ...

Are knee pads...

... the perfect gift, for givers?

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