I cracked a joke about dementia to my friend at the bus. The old man sitting next to me politely asked. "Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?"

I replied "yes I cancer." Then I cracked tumor

Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?

It"s called Chirpes.

It's one of those canarial diseases.

I hear it's untweetable.

I've heard people say that smoking will give me diseases

But what they don't know is it cures salmon!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the name of the Greek god of sexually transmitted diseases?

Herpes (badumm tss)

People say smoking will give you diseases

But how can they say that when it cures salmon!!

(Lol im a smoking chef and when i heard this joke I coughed my lungs like i have the rona. Had to post it )

Humans can catch diseases from monkeys and bats, but why not anteaters?

Because they are filled with anty bodies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a welsh man was asked if he would have sex with a sheep for 1000$

the welsh man said "sure but under three conditions."

first, the sheep shouldn't have any diseases obviously

secondly, I don't want anyone i know to hear about this

and finally, give me a week to gather the 1000 dollars for you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife: All I’m saying is that vaccines are more dangerous then the diseases they prevent!

Husband: did you know that the skin your lips are made of is the same as your asshole?

Wife: What does that have to do with anything?!

Husband: Well, it explains why everything that comes out of your mouth is complete shit.

I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's disease

She says she doesn't remember what she ever saw in me

Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told the President: "This morning, 3 Brazilians were killed by Covid-19."

Trump's face went egg-shell white with shock. The blood drained from his face; and, to everyone’s amazement, he collapsed on the floor.

Minutes passed, and to everyone’s relief President Trump got up shakily and then sat back on his chair.

His staff was nothing less than stunned at thi...

I’m a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.

It’s-a-me, Malario.

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