Things I hate intestinal tumors, colostomy bags, chemotherapy
Edit: quit telling me I'm missing a colon. I fucking know
My girlfriend lost all her hair during chemotherapy and she was crying for hours.
I said, "Why are you so upset? It's just hair. I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend."
"Right, I've been thinking." I said to the oncologist. "I'm not keen on radiotherapy or chemotherapy. At this stage I think it would be best to just let the disease take its natural course."
My wife's eyes filled with tears, "We should've discussed this together."
"My minds made up." I insisted.
"I think your wife is right." Said the consultant. "After all, she is the one with cancer."
A 7 year old kid happily asks him mum
Kid: Mummy, why am I getting my Christmas present on 18th August?
Mum: Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy, son.
/r/jokes, I have a belief that EVERYTHING bad or upsetting can be improved with humor. Do you have any chemotherapy jokes for me?
I am a 15yo guy, she is a 17yo girl who has a nonsmokers lung cancer. Any positive or uplifting jokes will be appreciated.
What’s the most expensive haircut in the USA?
Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?
Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
I'm the tallest in my family, so my Aunt used to call me "Lurch" from The Addams Family.
Just over the past year I started calling her "Uncle Fester" and she got so mad at me.
I guess chemotherapy makes people sensitive.
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday...
"Something expensive, and that I don't need." she replied.
I signed her up for chemotherapy.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The woman of my dreams
40 years ago, I asked the woman of my dreams out on a first date.
35 years ago, I asked her to marry me.
30 years ago, I asked if she would do me the honor of bearing our first child.
5 years ago, I asked her to hold my hand during her chemotherapy treatments.
Scientist begin testing cancer treamtnents in lions.
It’s going well, until one day a scientist checks in with the feline that had been receiving chemotherapy, and realized that it’s missing. She freaks out, but one of her colleagues says “Don’t panic just yet,” and throws a rib eye into the lion’s cage. Instantly, the lion seems to materialize from n...