Why are leprosy jokes hard to tell?

Because the delivery tends to fall apart.

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Dude was in prison and his cell mate had leprosy

Every day his cell mate would have a part of the body fall from his body

One day, it was the ear. He picked it up and threw it away through the window

The other day, the little finger; away through the window

On the day after, the thumbs, also away through the window


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Did you hear about the prostitute that gave a handjob to a guy with leprosy?

When she was done he said "thanks, keep the tip"

If you read the bible backwards its about a man sent to earth on a cross who is helped down by some Romans and told to go on his way. He then travels the world making people blind and giving them leprosy. He even ruins a meal for a huge crowd by turning all their food into 2 fish and 5 loaves.

He gets fewer followers as time goes by and in the end he's lying in a stable and 3 old men steal all his presents.

My doctor diagnosed me with leprosy.


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A man with leprosy bangs a prostitute...

Afterwards he tells her to keep the tip

I have a joke about leprosy...

But it would probably fall apart at the end.

Why don’t they allow people with leprosy to play hockey?

There’s already too many faceoffs

Why was the man with Leprosy late for his date?

He couldn’t get himself put together in time.

What do you call a prisoner with leprosy?

A leprechaun

Heard about the male escort with leprosy?

He did pretty good til his business dropped off

Did you hear the news? Kevin Bacon has leprosy.

It's true. Doctors say he's got a foot loose.

How do you know a girl with leprosy likes you?

She gives you the eye.

I once did a practical joke on a leprosy patient

He told me to stop pulling his leg

I've been looking everywhere for my Leprosy awareness bracelet;

I can never find my left arm when I need it.

A doctor made a cure for leprosy...

It costs an arm and a leg.

What do you call an Irish conman with leprosy?

A Leper Con!

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Fancy Dress Party tonight. Going as a masturbating guy with Leprosy

Hope I can pull it off.

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a guy with leprosy walks into a bar.

he sits down next to a man and order a beer. a few minutes pass and the guy next to the leper vomits all over the bar. the leper, being used to it, moves to the other end of the bar.

a few minutes later, the guy vomits again. the leper is still unfazed.

after the leper orders his seco...

A gentleman walks into a very busy Italian Restaurant

The host explains that they are very busy and he will have no choice of seating. The gentleman agrees and is seated at the only remaining table. He views the menu and orders a plate of the city's best spaghetti. The waiter comes to the table and sets the meal before him.

The gentleman puts th...

There was a man with leprosy

Jim had leprosy which was bad because he had constant sores full of pus. The doctor said he could keep him alive but could do nothing about the sores. Because of this Jim could never wear a shirt as it would be soaked with pus and ruined.
One day Jim's friends decided to take him to a baseball g...

I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.

I'll call it Leper-Con.

Half price admission for the wee folk.

Did you hear about the man who faked leprosy to get charity handouts?

It was a leper con.

My doctor told me he had some jaw-dropping news for me and I rushed excitedly to his office.

Apparently I have leprosy.

Did you hear about the hockey game where all the players had leprosy?

There was a face off in the corner.

A man travels to Ireland for the first time.

His flight to Dublin arrives in the morning, and he travels into the countryside to stay for a few days. He goes to visit the Blarney Stone, feeds some animals at a ranch, and even gets to experience a rainstorm with a beautiful rainbow at the end. After his countryside excursion, he heads back to D...

Guy gets a call from his doctor.

"Your blood test results are in... I'm sorry to tell you that you have contracted leprosy," says the doctor.

"What? How?" Guy exclaims.

"Can't be sure, but we need to discuss treatment options. There is a cure, but it is extremely expensive."

"What choice do I have, doc?" Guy la...

When the doctors diagnosed me with leprosy...

...I laughed my head off.

I don’t know how to feel about my leper friend...

On one hand, he gave me leprosy, on the other... oh wait.

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