What did the hockey puck say to the goal post?

Pyeonchanngggg

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Why do Canadian women use a hockey puck instead of tampons?

Cuz they last for three periods.

(I am truly sorry)

What's the difference between a hockey puck made of Styrofoam and bestiality?

One of them is a phony puck...

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No one ever fucks me

Billy has always wanted to go on a deep sea fishing trip but could never afford it. He saved all the spare money he could but still didnt have enough to pay for tge trip so he decides to just buy a 6 pack of Bud Light and fish off of the pier.

He gets out to the pier and notices a woman with ...

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I'm a day late, but here's some Canadian jokes I came up with

1.) What do you call a Canadian military group?

- *The Eh Team*

2.) Welcome to Canada: Native land of the world's two sexiest Ryan's and the world's two most hated Justin's.

3.) Canadians are great at introducing themselves to strangers since they're so used to breaking the ice....

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A kindergarten teacher asked her students to each bring something that they like.

Bobby shares first. "I brought a bone, because I love my dog." "That's great," says the teacher. "Mary, you're next."
Meanwhile, at the back of the classroom, Jerry takes off all his clothes and wears a giant USSR flag, as everyone stares.


Mary brings forward a plant and says, "I broug...

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My go-to joke whenever anybody asks me to tell them a joke...

A man walks into a pet shop and sees a beautiful parrot. He asks the shop owner about it, and the owner says "Ah, that's the Wikibird. Not only can it talk, but it knows a lot of useful information. You can ask it anything you want and it will respond."

The man decides to test out the Wikibir...

Ten reasons why hockey is better than women

1: In hockey, everyone likes rough.

2: You only get 5 minutes for fighting.

3: Puck is not a dirty word.

4: You don't have to play in the neutral zone.

5: It is possible to score a few times a night.

6: When you "pull the goalie," nobody gets pregnant.

7: Mi...

How many Canadians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee...

The Greatest French Hockey Player

A hockey-loving guy from Ontario moves to Quebec. He turns on the radio to listen to the Toronto Maple Leafs vs Montreal Canadiens hockey game. He realizes that the game is being broadcast in French, but he decides to listen anyways. Maybe He'll be able to make out what's happening and at least get ...

What do you tell a Hockey player messing up with you...

... Stop pucking around

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