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Digested Jokes

Did you hear about the buffalo fossil excavation where they found partially digested mail bags in their stomachs?

It turns out they were stamp eating across the Midwest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me (to a sentient piece of human shit): "Hey, what were you before you were shit?" Shit: "Well, before I was consumed, masticated, and digested, I was a beautiful French baguette." "Does it disappoint you, that you were once so beautiful but are now a piece of shit?

"Are you kidding? I was bread for this."

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TIL about Kopi Luwak, an expensive coffee made from partially digested coffee cherries defecated by the Asian palm civet.

Imagine the barista's face when you go to the coffee shop then ask for a crappuccino.

Two starving men are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat...

He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs.
He says to the other man, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?"
"Hell no!" replies the second man, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!"
"...

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When God created man, all of the parts of the body argued over who would be boss.

The Brain said that since he controlled the body that he should be boss.

The Eyes said that without them man would be helpless, they should be boss.

The Legs said that since they took man wherever he wanted to go, they should be boss.

The Stomach said that since it digested the ...

I just read an interesting new warning on my shower cleaner:

"Keep this and all cleaning products away from children. If swallowed, get emergency psychiatric help and regurgitate the children before they are digested."

The pizza was waiting in the stomach..

The pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along.

Pizza thought, "Ok. I'll let him pass, there's no hurry."

Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza lets him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stopped hi...

Two Hungry Soldiers (Disgusting)

After a long, big battle , there are two enemy soldiers left on the battlefield. They decide to make peace and look for food because they are very, VERY hungry. They look food for 2 hours but cannot find something.

Soldier 1 says " I can't take this anymore!" and walks to a nearby dead soldie...

A bear is walking through the woods...

...and stumbles upon a catholic priest. The bear is hungry, so he decides the priest is as good a meal as anything and quickly eats him. He continues on his stroll and happens upon a baptist pastor. The priest was a rather frail fellow so didn't fill him up completely, so he has a go at the baptist ...

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An alligator walks into a bar....

An alligator walks into a bar and sits down to order the drink. The bartender says "its not often we get an alligator in here drinking.." Before he could finish the alligator says "look man, I hate having to explain to someone what I am doing in a bar every time I want a drink". The bartender kept q...

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Two guys in a jungle

Warning: This is a long and very disgusting joke. And english is my second language, please forgive any mistakes.

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Two guys are walking through a jungle. They were both part of an expedition of scientists trying to study wildlife there, but their camp got attacked by natives some nig...

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