Dieting Jokes - 16 Hilarious Dieting Jokes

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My wife always cheats when shes dieting

She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other men...

Bob and his wife started dieting a week ago

Bob and his wife started dieting a week ago.
His wife proposed that they should have cheat day today.
She bought home McDonald's burger, KFC wings and Bob brought home his secretary

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How many carbs do people in india eat while dieting?

Naan.

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Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

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I think about dieting sometimes...

It takes a lot of weight off my mind.

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Why did the mermaid stop dieting?

She was too fin.

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Dieting hasnt worked out for me, so Im gambling in the UK

Great way to lose a few pounds.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was Hitler's favorite dieting fad?

Doing a Jews Cleanse

I’d like to start dieting...

But I’ve got too much on my plate.

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I love dieting. I'm actually on 4 diets.

Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.

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Consistency is important when dieting

You don’t want lumps in your cake batter.

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I found this great new dieting plan that's sure to make you lose a lot of pounds

It's called Brexit

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My wife said we should have a cheat day once a month while we are dieting...

Apparently it only involved food

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My girlfriend is trying to get me to start dieting.

I told her I'd rather die eating.

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Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

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My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!

My wife is down 80 Lbs.

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