Why did the mermaid stop dieting?

She was too fin.

I think about dieting sometimes...

It takes a lot of weight off my mind.

Dieting hasnt worked out for me, so Im gambling in the UK

Great way to lose a few pounds.

Not fat, just short.

According to the BMI chart, at the doctors office, I don’t need to lose 25 pounds! I do need to grow about six inches but hey, it beats dieting!

Dieting is really easy

As long as you're poor

My wife said we should have a cheat day once a month while we are dieting...

Apparently it only involved food

I found this great new dieting plan that's sure to make you lose a lot of pounds

It's called Brexit

I’d like to start dieting...

But I’ve got too much on my plate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was Hitler's favorite dieting fad?

Doing a Jews Cleanse

I love dieting. I'm actually on 4 diets.

Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!

My wife is down 80 Lbs.

Mid-afternoon snacking was not as detrimental to my dieting as I thought,

In the other hand though, the mid-snacking snacking . . .

My girlfriend is trying to get me to start dieting.

I told her I'd rather die eating.

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