UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife always cheats when shes dieting

She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other men...

Why did the mermaid stop dieting?

She was too fin.

I think about dieting sometimes...

It takes a lot of weight off my mind.

Dieting hasnt worked out for me, so Im gambling in the UK

Great way to lose a few pounds.

I found this great new dieting plan that's sure to make you lose a lot of pounds

It's called Brexit

My wife said we should have a cheat day once a month while we are dieting...

Apparently it only involved food

I’d like to start dieting...

But I’ve got too much on my plate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was Hitler's favorite dieting fad?

Doing a Jews Cleanse

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

I love dieting. I'm actually on 4 diets.

Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!

My wife is down 80 Lbs.

My girlfriend is trying to get me to start dieting.

I told her I'd rather die eating.

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