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Vitamins Jokes

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Vitamins for Aging Guys

When you are telling your wife's physical therapist that you recently started taking Multivitamins for [Aging] Men as a "dietary supplement", don't call them "Male Enhancement pills."

Learn From My Fail

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting... [warning: offensive!]

\[I once killed a party with this joke. You have been warned!\]

Three expectant mothers are sitting in the doctor's office, knitting.

The first mother puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, pulls out a bottle of pills, takes one, then resumes knitting. She sees the other two mot...

Went to the vitamin shoppe for some energy supplements.....

And the sales rep is telling me about b vitamins, he goes :
"You got your b-12 your b-6, have you taken these vitamins previously "?
I asked:
"You mean like b-4"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke older than Internet

One day Joe complained to his friend, ‘My elbow really hurts. I guess I should go to the doctor.’

His friend advised ‘Don’t do that. There is a computer at the drugstore that will diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will dia...

My doctor was making fun of me for being low on B vitamins...

He's giving me a complex.

Young couple at doctors office

Young couple visits doctor seeking advice,

"Sir you gotta help us, we tried everything to have a baby, we tried vitamins, we tried changing positions, we tried every different day of the month, we searched internet for pregnancy advice, but we just can't seem to have any luck with it, we need...

WHY I AM SO TIRED

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.
Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work...

I was eating a cheeseburger when I was confronted by a vegan.

The vegan said I should give up killing and eating cows, he said I should start eating vegan. If prepared right, you will get more vitamins and enjoy it more.

At the end of the day, he was right, cooked properly, he was delicious.

Jacob, age 92, and Beth, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.


Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"...
The pharmacist answers "Yes".


Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
...

I periodically see my doctor and our conversations go like this...

Doc: your diet isn't great. Don't you think you should try to easy off on the salt?

Me: Na

Doc: you really should. You might develop respiratory issues and have trouble breathing.

Me: O

Doc: and try eating more fruits. They'll give you more vitamins and minerals

Me...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three pregnant women are sitting around the waiting room the their OBGYN...

Three pregnant women are sitting around the waiting room at their OBGYN knitting jumpers for their expected babies. One woman reaches into her purse and pulls out a handful of pills and Swallows them. The other mothers look at her with disapproval stares and she says, "Oh no, these are just prenatal...

Learning letters

"I would like vitamins for my son,” a mother said. “Vitamin A, B or C?” the pharmacist asked. “It doesn’t matter,” the mother replied. “He can’t read yet.”

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Three pregnant women are sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's office, knitting to pass the time.

The first one pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and take one. The other two ask what it was.

She says, "Calcium. Strong bones for baby and mommy!"

Satisfied, they all return to their knitting.

A few minutes later, the second one pulls out a bottle of pills and takes one. ...

My doctor must be a very visual person,

Whenever I have a cold he holds out my medication and says "vitamins, see".

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Grandpa feels like a horse!

A Grandpa is talking with his grandson.

Grandpa: I'm tell you boy, since I take these vitamins, I feel like a HORSE!

Grandson: Oh yeah Grandpa, you and Grandma are "getting busy"?

Grandpa: No, but I can walk and poop at the same time...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A few originals (hopefully) by me.

I read an article the other day that said women named Rachel are 10x more likely to get pulled over by the police...

Another terrible example of Rachel profiling.


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What do you call a dinosaur that is attempting to get his girlfriend to try new things in the bedr...

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