My brother was having a tough time losing weight.

Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, “Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?”
Mike answered, “Want to split two?”

Losing weight is a piece of cake

Just don’t eat the cake

If youre having trouble losing weight

Try gaining weight for new years resolution

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fat Joe is having trouble losing weight and he hears about a new extreme workout.

He goes to the place and the man in charge leads him to a large circular room in which is a naked, beautiful woman with sign on her that reads "If you catch me, you can fuck me."

After many long tries, he eventually loses weight, catches her, and gets to enjoy a bit of the old in-out, in-out....

A human losing weight is like an atom losing electrons

Everything is positive after that.

I was considering losing weight for my new year's resolution.

But I decided not to think less of myself.

DJ Khaled was featured in a Weight Watchers commercial for losing weight...

...He must have stopped eating out...

Losing weight

A man goes to a Weight Loss Clinic and after a short discussion they ask the man how much weight he would like to lose today?
After a few seconds he replies "10 Pounds"
They tell him to go to the first door on the left and go in. They explain the room will be dark and the door will lock behind...

Losing weight

Paddy wants to lose weight so he goes to see his doctor and voice his concern. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When Paddy returns, he's lost nearly 20 pound...

Losing weight is so easy now. I'm just chasing the kids around all day

- Jared Fogle

How did Jim start losing weight after the holidays?

He just quit eating cold turkey.

I recently visited a website with tips for losing weight

And a pop up asked me if I accepted cookies. Is that a trick question?

My friend was sad and complaining to me about how she's having trouble losing weight.

"The change isn't immediate", I told her. "Just keep your chins up."

My husband bought me a dress for my birthday.

He’s been on me about losing weight, so the dress was 2 sizes too small for me. When he handed me the box, he said “I’m looking forward to seeing you in this.”

For his birthday, I gave him a coffin.

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