UPJOKE
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I'm regularly asked to be a photomodel for sports magazines, man's health, dietary topics etc.

I'm the guy in the "before" pictures.

What do you call a celiac who ignores their dietary advice?

A gluten for punishment

What does Titanic disaster and your moms dietary plan have in common?

Lots of drowned seamen.

You know what I have to say about Islamic dietary restrictions?

HA LAL

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The thing I don't like about Dietary Fiber is the large poops

I'm also not crazy about our dog's name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Vitamins for Aging Guys

When you are telling your wife's physical therapist that you recently started taking Multivitamins for [Aging] Men as a "dietary supplement", don't call them "Male Enhancement pills."

Learn From My Fail

Rabbi Schwartz and Father O’Malley were at a diner enjoying lunch

Father O’Malley put down his ham and cheese sandwich and commented, “This sandwich is so good! Kosher dietary restrictions made sense in ancient times, but when are you going to join the modern age and eat delicious, wholesome food like this?

Without missing a beat, Rabbi Schwartz replied, “A...

Aboriginal Rituals

A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar...

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