Philanthropist Jokes - 15 Hilarious Philanthropist Jokes

Ted Kaczynski was a philanthropist.

He launched a letter-writing campaign to support Borders Without Doctors.

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A Philanthropist visits the hospital

There was a very rich lady who gave most of her fortune to a hospital so the Chief of Staff gave her a special tour.

As they are passing one room she sees a man furiously jacking off in the corner.

“That’s disgusting “ she says but the doctor explains the the man has a rare disease th...

Why did the philanthropist go into cardiac arrest?

There were many causes close to his heart

r/jokes Rich Lawyer on a plane next to philanthropist

Rich lawyer is sitting in first class next to the head of a major charity organization.

Head of said charity takes the opportunity to introduce himself and the cause, but lawyer isn’t interested in giving. No surprise. He’s notoriously rich and not very friendly.

Finally, charity dire...

There was once a billionaire philanthropist with a curious idea....

"What would happen if he gave modern musical instruments to tribal people who have never been in contact with the outer world? He decided to do just that, and to return after 10 years. The tribesmen were given an electric guitar, bass, a drum kit, digital keys, everything needed to make music with o...

In Seattle, the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone is looking for a musician/philanthropist to support the cause

i.e. a CHAZ Bono

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference.

My first original, time for open mic!

A rich philanthropist decides to give some jewelry to a homeless woman on the street, named Edith.

Edith: thanks for the gold!

A doctor, a philanthropist, and an engineer are playing a round of golf behind a group of blind golfers.

As they wait for the impaired golfers to painstakingly finish the next hole, the doctor says "What a motivating sight. I'm inspired to start a clinic for visually impaired people in order that they might better pursue their dreams."
The philanthropist nods in agreement and says "That's a worthy...

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A man goes to visit a divorce attorney.

"There's just no saving this marriage," the man says, "so I want to make a clean break."

The attorney sighs and consults his notes. "Well, sir, your cited grounds don't make you look good. According to you, your husband is quite the philanthropist... but you're mad that he's distributing clas...

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Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to hell.

When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!

The Virgin Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"

"Yes," fum...

Three men hold a contest in front of a panel of women to see who can pleasure a woman best.

The first man, a body builder, is brought up to the stage and announces that he can deadlift 550lbs and can bench 315lbs. Proving it true, the man completes the lifts with ease. Flexing his muscles in front of the women and winking, he leaves the stage.

The next man, a professional chef, impr...

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Why can't they call me Joe the butcher?

I've been a butcher for 20 years. You'd think they'd call me Joe the butcher. But no, they don't.

I'm also a pilot. Fly a lot. You'd think they'd call me Joe the pilot. But nope. They don't.

I give away a ton of money to charity. Most of my money. You'd think they'd call me Joe the phi...

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[NSFW] What are you known for?

Three young kids walk up to an older man sitting on a park bench.

"Can you give us any advice, sir?"

He begins...

"Be careful what you do in life because that's what you'll end up being known for. Look at me, for example. I donated the land for this beautiful park we're in right...

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Three men find a lamp...

Three middle aged men are walking along an abandoned beach when they find a golden lamp glistening in the sun. Deciding they have nothing to lose, they decide to rub it and see what happens. In astonishment, they see a genie appear before them.

"Thank you for freeing me from my lamp. To thank...

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