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Congo Jokes

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Some Gorillas are getting drunk in the Belgian Congo... (NSFW)

So some gorillas are having some beers and goofing off at the edge of the forest in the Belgian Congo, clowning on each other, doing impressions, etc. one of them looks toward the bordering savanna and notices a lion intently stalking a distant antelope.

“Check out Mr. King of the Jungle ove...

Did know that king Leopold II never visited Belgian Congo?

It was a hands off operation.

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A detachment of US Marines are conducting jungle warfare training in the Congo, and one night around the campfire, the Congolese troops they're training with tell the Marines the tale of a cave in the middle of the jungle, filled with golden treasure but guarded by a fearsome monster.

According to the local soldiers, the cave is filled with the treasures of an ancient African king, but a sorcerer used his arcane powers to create an unholy creature to guard it. She was formed from a mix of human, gorilla, chimpanzee, and baboon, and stands seven feet tall, enormously strong. She h...

Two elderly Russian veterans go to travel in the jungles of Congo

Two elderly Russian veterans go to travel in the jungles of Congo. They roam the jungle, singing vodka songs and hunting their own food for weeks, when suddenly a huge lion jumps on one of them out of nowhere, crushing the elderly Russian to the ground, vigorously biting off most of his vital organs...

My visa to visit Afraica got approved.

Now I Congo

What gaming projectile was thrown by John Barrowman’s “Doctor Who” character to pass the time while he was traveling along the Congo River?

The Dart of Harkness.

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

Map jokes

How do you get around in Italy? You Rome.
Why does everyone love Thailand? They Bangkok.
I Congo to Africa, Kenya?
Why do the French take there time? They hate to Russia
What's the unhappiest state? Misery
Who are the unhappiest Europeans? The Hungary ones.
Why are the so many Subw...

Death or Muwamba

Two explorers were trudging through the Congo in search of artifacts when they were captured by a primitive tribe of natives.

The natives stripped and bound the two men to wooden poles. The entire tribe came to watch, hundreds of strapping men and women looked on.

The chief walked up...

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White Baby

A [white] missionary is captured by a tribe of natives in the heart of Congo. He is left to wonder around camp, and eventually befriends the chief's daughter. Now, those indians live by herding sheeps across the plains. And so, one day, the missionary and the chief's daughter have sexy time in the m...

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The Gorilla Hunter

An avid big game hunter decided to book a trip to the Congo in order to hunt Gorillas. He had never been to the Congo so upon arrival he asked several locals who the best guide for hunting Gorillas would be. Everyone told him to find a man named Joffe as he was an expert in hunting gorillas. Soon th...

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Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

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