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Exists Jokes

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TIL Lego porn exists

It didn't click for me.

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This actually happened, and I’m sorry if the joke exists, i dont kno about it and I’m proud.

So I was at a bar, for a long long time. And I went to the bathroom to the urinal, and went about my business.

A drunk as hell guy comes in and goes to the urinal next to me to unleash, and says

“Why you holding on to your dick, is it so small you can’t aim?”

And I INS...

A chemistry student was asked to explain if heaven or hell exists on a test...

The question was: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First...

Of course god exists

How else could those foolish athiests explain my girlfriend getting pregnant without us ever sleeping together

Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists"

*drops mic*

The Pope dies and stands before the Gates of Heaven.

He knocks and St. Peter opens the Gate.

St.Peter:"Yes?? How can i help you??"

Pope:"I wanna speak with God."

St.Peter:"And you are ???"

Pope frustrated:"Im the Pope!!!"

St. Peter:"Doesnt ring a bell."

Pope very angry:"I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH GOD!!!"

St...

How come Batman shampoo exists...

But not Conditioner Gorder?

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Thank God, women exists!

Because a world without women would literally be a pain in the ass...

A person unsure if God exists rolled a numbered cube to determine the answer.

It was a diagnostic test.

The Pope dies and stands in front of the gates of heaven.

St. Peter looks at him confused:" Who are you? I don't know you." The Pope says" I'm the Pope, the holy father". Peter scrolls through his holy book " Pope, Pope, holy father..... nope, not in here". Now the Pope is confused "But I'm God's representative on earth." Peter says " Pease wait a minute" ...

How do we know Allah exists?

Because it all started with a big bang
(BTW this is a repost from r/darkjokes)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What symptom exists in all the politicians?

Constipation. Because they are so full of shit all the time.

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Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from many men.

It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return....

One day Jim exists his house and

He sees John with a huge rock in the yard. "Where did you get the rock?" Asks Jim. John answers that there is a goldfish in the pond nearby, and if he manages to catch him, it will grant him a wish. The only problem is that the goldfish has hearing problems, so he will need to speak clearly and loud...

The Pope dies and arrives in Heaven

St. Peter awaits him. St. Peter asks who he is.

The Pope: "I am the pope."

St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."

The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."

St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."

The Pope: "But I am t...

I can't believe plant-based protein powder exists

There's no whey

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There exists a Japanese gentleman with a great power: None of his family or friends can die

He's unbereavable

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Athiests: There is absolutely no chance god exists, No way.

Jews: Yahweh

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A man takes a pleasant stroll on a Friday evening... suddenly, the Devil himself pops up in front of him

and whispers, "Take all the money in your wallet, go to this casino, and put them on the number 27!"

The man is first shocked, then becomes curious, and quickly yields, goes to the casino, puts all the money on 27 and wins!

Excited he exists the casino and meets the Devil again. The ...

Just came up with this. Will be heartbroken if it exists

I walked into a brothel last week, the madame looked me up and down and asked if I liked femdom. Boy, she had me pegged

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The invention of the Penis is proof God exists...

And the size of mine proves that, so does the Devil.

Friend: Everyone exists because of that saying "I think therefore I am"

Me: So does Trump just disappear every time he's about to post to Twitter

The Pope dies and goes to the gates of heaven.

St Peter says, "Welcome to heaven. As is tradition, you are granted one request upon entering." The Pope responds, "I would like to speak with God." St Peter says, "I'm not sure if God is available, and who exactly are you?" The Pope replies "I'm the Pope." St Peter says, "Doesn't ring a bell. Let m...

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Reverend...how do I know God exists if I can't see Him?"

"You can feel Him from within."

"I don't understand."

"Well, for instance - can you see my cock at the moment?"

A Star Trek forum exists where Trekkies can debate additions to the universe's lore.

It's called Prose and Khans.

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A store opens which sells husbands (long)

A few women think this is cool and decide to try it out. When they enter in the building, an employee tells them the rules: on each floor there is a door with a list of qualities the men on that floor possess. The women must choose whether to go into that floor to shop or move up to the next floor. ...

Guys, just remember that every yo mama joke that exists has been done hundreds of times by hundreds of different people.

Like your mom.

Before the end of the world, God gathered three presidents: Biden, Xi and Lukashenko.

God told them: “Go and tell your people that in two weeks, the world will end.”

Biden went back to US and said: “I have two pieces of news. One is good, and the other is bad. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that in two weeks, the world will end”.

Xi w...

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