Defending Jokes - 13 Hilarious Defending Jokes

I was addicted to not defending myself against nuns.

But I finally kicked the habit.

A: “You’re not a believer but keep defending religion”

B: “I’m just playing the god’s advocate”

I like defending myself in court.

So sue me.

Who is the REIGNING, DEFENDING and UNDISPUTED Social Distancing Champion of the World?

A whistleblower.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a lawyer is defending the porn industry in court...

...are they doing pro boner legal work?

I was defending myself after a crime spree by explaining that I had hypothermia and turned into a superconductor.

I couldn't resist.

I read the other day that Penn State has spent $237 million defending the university during the Sandusky lawsuit. Think of how many peoples’ education that would pay for.

At least 4 or 5.

While defending the relevance of his laser experiments, the scientist shouted,

"Photons matter!"

I got banned from the local swimming pool today

They banned me for "peeing in the pool".

I tried defending myself by saying *everybody* pees in the pool, but according to them no one does it from the diving board

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to my mom this is the first joke I ever told [NSFW text]

It's a warm summer day and an elderly gentleman and his wife are driving down the highway. They are in the midst of a heated argument; his wife has accused him of adultery. Although he is vigilantly defending his honor she is convinced that he has been cheating on her. Back and forth they shout, get...

Why do Americans suck at DOTA2 ?

because they are bad at defending towers ✈️✈️ 🏢 🏢

I had a really tasty vegan steak last week.

Changing the subject, anyone know a good lawyer for defending a murder case?

A Russian coma patient wakes up after 6 months ...

... and asks for the news.

"Well, we're fighting in Ukraine - defending our motherland from NATO, and deciding the future of the world"

"How is it going?"

"Well, we lost over 15.000 soldiers, hundreds of tanks, hundreds of aircraft, it's a grinder"

"And NATO?"

"NAT...

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