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Daylight Savings Jokes

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My girlfriend and I began having sex at 1:58AM this morning and didn't stop until 3:01AM.

Thanks daylight savings!

Thanks to Daylight Savings Time . . .

My girlfriend thinks I lasted an hour and two minutes.

They always say that daylight savings is such a great idea

I give it six months

Daylight savings time.

Is the government cutting off the bottom of a blanket and sewing it to the top and saying ,"see its longer now".

Daylight savings is coming up...

Don't lose sleep over it.

I’ve been trying to write a song about Daylight Savings Time

But I haven’t been able to come up with anything better than Spice Girls’ 2 become 1

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Had sex for an hour and 30 seconds today

Thankyou daylight savings

Most modern clocks these days auto-update when daylight savings begins/ends. So this morning I'm walking around my house thinking wow...

...times have changed.

What do you think of the return to Daylight Savings Time tonight?

Eh, I'm not losing any sleep over it.

Daylight Savings Time

Can't believe they fired me from the clock factory
after all the extra hours I put in.

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On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.

He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".

I'm so poor my only funds are daylight savings...

but at least it's trickling down for a rainy day.

Daylight Savings Time Gave Me a Back Injury

I need to buy a smaller sundial.

I’m working 25/7

To come up with jokes about daylight savings time.

I really like daylight savings time, I got an extra hour of sleep last night

I was in bed for 7 hours, but when I woke up it was EIGHT HOURS LATER!!!!

Not only is it daylight savings time today, but also Int'l Women's Day.

Because apparently a full 24 hours to celebrate women would have been just a bit much.

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What’s old, annoying and only fucks you twice a year?

Daylight savings time

I finally lasted 1 hour and 2 minutes in bed...

Thank god for daylight savings

Daylight savings

On Sunday we jumped back an hour, today we jumped back 50 years.

I don't get the reasoning behind switching to Daylight Savings Time in the USA

I guess I'm still in the dark.

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Zack late to his work

Zach's boss was super pissed as Zack was an hour late to the work because of the daylight savings time.

After the boss left, Zack kick a lamp to vent out his frustration.

Suddenly a genie appeared and said - you have made me free. I will grant you a wish.

Zack - Can you bring pe...

If I ever run out of dad jokes....

I’ve always got daylight savings time puns to fall back on

Boss: "You're an hour late!"

Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: "Haven't you heard?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life.

I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

Lance Armstrong ... I think i...

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