UPJOKE
gnomonsunsolar timelatitudetrue northequinoxellipseequation of timecelestial poleconesouthanalemmaobeliskstandard timeplane

The guy who invented autocorrect has died...

...his funfair will be help next sundial.
upvote downvote report

"I like your new sundial," Jack said to Slow Jim.

"It's great, isn't it?" said Slow Jim. "I've even had floodlights installed, so I can also use it at night."
upvote downvote report

I forgot to shave my sundial yesterday...

..hence the five o'clock shadow
upvote downvote report

Finally a documentary full of watches, hourglasses, and sundials.

It's about time.
upvote downvote report

Son: Dad, how does a sundial work?

Dad:(hands son his phone) Now call your mother.

Son: Why don't you just do it?

Dad: That would be a DadDial!
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yo Mama's so old... and stupid... and fat.

Yo Mama's so old she remembers when Captain Caveman was a lieutenant,

yo Mama's so old, when she went to school history class was just one paragraph.

yo Mama's so stupid, she has a glow in the dark sundial in her garden,

yo Mama's so stupid she went to the Dentist to fix her Blu...

A man takes three Xanax...

A man takes three Xanax and lays down on a sundial. Death meanders up and says "Dude, you're on borrowed time".
upvote downvote report

Daylight Savings Time Gave Me a Back Injury

I need to buy a smaller sundial.
upvote downvote report

A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy...

"Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"

The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon".
upvote downvote report

The first human migrants to America are about to cross the land bridge between Eastern Russia and Alaska. The navigator seems a bit lost.

The year is 13,000 BC. The first human migrants to America are about to cross the land bridge between Eastern Russia and Alaska. The navigator seems a bit lost.

"You alright?" They ask him, waiting eagerly at the shore with a distant view of the new lands that awaited them.

"Yeah, I th...
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information