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Cruises Jokes

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Why don't black people go on cruises?

They aren't falling for that one again.

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Why don't you ever see black people on cruises?

They'll never be tricked into that one again...

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Thor cruises the universe looking for the perfect woman.

He eventually comes to Earth. He spots this amazing-looking woman in a club, so he asks her if she wants a drink.

"Yeth I'd love a drink she replies".

A bit later Thor asks her to dance.

"Yeth, I'd love to dance " she replies.

In the end Thor decides to ask her back to ...

Lots of my friends enjoy going on cruises.

I'm not onboard with that, though.

What is your favorite cruise line?

Holland America Cruises, because they have a lot of dam ships.

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A man cruises the countryside on his bike.

He was riding past a farm when the motor starts to stutter and finally stops. He tries to start the bike again but to no avail.
Scratching his head, trying to find out what may be the problem, he suddenly hears a voice coming from his right:
"I think the carburetor's broken..."
The man turn...

Cruise

A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says CRUISES - $100. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him over the head with a baseball bat and throws him in the river.
Another man is walking down the street a ...

What was Tom Cruises first marriage called?

The Manchild vs. Kidman


——

Please go easy, I know it’s not a very current topic but I just came up with the pun on this wonderful actresses name.

Snow White decides to take a cruise

Snow White decides to take a cruise, but she can't bring all of the dwarves with her. To make sure she has a good time, she only brings along happy and sleepy.

Unfortunately when they go to board the boat there's a problem.

There's no doc

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I recently sailed around the world on one of those “once in a lifetime” cruises.

The cruise was scheduled to take 6 months, visit all 7 continents, and make port calls in over 30 different cities. I was very excited and could not wait.

The cruise began with several uneventful stops along the gulf off Mexico and down the Eastern side of South America. As we neared the sout...

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It has been mentioned that when cruises start sailing again, the buffets will all be staffed with servers instead of just serving yourself.

The saddest job will be the person who has to push the buttons on the pop dispenser.   Why?   Because it is "soda pressing".


I will see myself out.

A couple are having dinner at a nice restaurant. A lovely young woman walks up to the table, kisses the man on the cheek, and says, "See you later, sweetie" before walking away. The wife is livid.

"Who the hell was that, and what did she mean about seeing you later?"

"That's just my mistress, Laura."

"You have a mistress, and she has the nerve to walk up to us in public? This is unforgivable. I want a divorce."

"Honey, she means nothing to me. Just a bit of harmless fun. ...

I told my barber I wanted my hair cut like Tom Cruise

So he sat me down on a couple of phone books.

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