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Sightseeing Jokes

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There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing.

On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport.

During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!”

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Jap...

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Sightseeing with a Camel

Two guys from some indeterminate country come to NYC to sightsee. They find that there are no rental cars available. A fairly shady guy offers to rent them a camel to see the sights. Needless to say they were suspicious.

They guy says " The camel knows all the things you'd want to see. Just...

Sabaton is going sightseeing.

After their most recent gig in America, Sabaton decides to go to New York for vacation and to go sightseeing.

After their expensive flight they discovered that they mostly went through all their money.

Deciding to see as much as they can with spending as little cash as possible they we...

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An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing.

While sipping his sangria, he noticed a
sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next
table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He
asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those
are bu...

I went sightseeing in france and decided to check out that famous tower.

It sure was an Eiffel

I wanted to use a paper map when sightseeing but my girlfriend insisted on using her phone

It was my way or the Huawei.

A group of Polish tourists is flying on a small airplane through the Grand Canyon on a sightseeing tour.

The tour guide announces: "On the right of the airplane, you can see the famous Bright Angle Falls."

The tourists leap out of their seats and crowd to the windows on the right side. This causes a dynamic imbalance, and the plane violently rolls to the side and crashes into the canyon wall. ...

My friend and I took a trip to Egypt. While we were sightseeing, he slipped and fell into a river. I told him he needs to get out as soon as possible but he refused to acknowledge his predicament.

He was in denial.

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Out for a hike one day...

A man climbed to the highest point in his town for some sightseeing.

As he appreciated the view through his binoculars, he looked down and gazed upon the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen sunbathing nude in the valley.

A park ranger appeared and immediately placed him under arrest....

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Three not-so-wise men

Three men are preparing to go on a sightseeing plane ride. They were just about to leave, but then they decided that they wanted some snacks for their plane ride, so they head to a local grocery store before going to the airport. While there, the first man buys an apple. The second man buys a pear. ...

An Israeli lands in New Delhi Airport. Reaches the passport control

-Name?
-David Cohen
-Age?
-32
-Occupation?
-No, just sightseeing... For now

I rescued a penguin that came to shore near home

It must have got caught in a coastal current and ended up at the beach. I was happy to save it but didn't know what to do with it.

Someone suggested I take it to the zoo. I thought that was a great idea, and that's what I did.

A few weeks later the same person saw me at the beach....

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An English, a Japan and a Russian are visiting Russia.

When they are in Moscow Russian takes them to sightseeing.

And see a big bridge the English speaks and says:

'' Ah, its a nice bridge. But if it was in England, we would build it in 3 months. We have the best tools and technology for it.''

The Japan goes forward and says:
...

Guys I just had my first date yesterday

So there was this stunning, beautiful girl that walked past me at today, and when she gazed into my eyes, I knew it was love at first sight.

Now, I'm not a particularly handsome guy, but I've been with enough partners to know that it was time to shoot my shot, have a go at it, etc.

So,...

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A bus full of jews was broken down nearby small German town.

It was sightseeing tour to Auschwitz concetration camp.


Bus driver walked to nearby house looking for some help and knocked the door. The door was opened by old burgher.


Bus driver:
Sorry to disturb you, sir, but my bus is broken down. And I need to deliver all these jew...

A 90 year-old man marries a beautiful 25 year-old woman...

They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy. After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says "Honey, I'm tired after all this excitement. I'm going to go to bed. See you in the morning." She say ok, and off he goes to bed, whil...

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This tourist from Japan comes to India.

For sightseeing purposes, he got on a cab. The cab driver took him to The Taj Mahal and proudly said, "This is the Taj Mahal. It took 6000 people 6 years to be built."
The tourist, unimpressed, says "6 fucking years? We can build something like this in 6 months."
The cab driver got a bit upset...

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the Pope and the baseball fans

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach when there was a frantic fight just off shore. A man, wearing a Boston Red Sox jersey, was struggling to free himself from the jaws of a 25ft shark.

As the Pope ...

Ghoul in the Pub (Credit to Paul Sloane & Des MacHale)

Bill, a tourist in Devon, spends the day sightseeing, then decides to finish the day at a pub in a nearby village. He gets absorbed in the rustic atmosphere, but in the midst of drinking a Guinness, he notices what appears to be a ghoul drinking from a small green bottle, across the room. This perso...

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A man visits spain...

On a vacation in Spain, a guy goes to a bullfight. After a long fight, the bull finally collapses and the matador is victorious. Afterwards he's looking for somewhere to eat and he comes across a restaurant near the bullring. He goes in and takes a seat. He can't understand anything on the menu, so ...

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A Panda Bear wins a free trip to NYC....

This Giant Panda boards his flight from China and after a long flight he arrives in New York. He decides to do some tourist stuff and go sightseeing. As he is walking down the crowded and busy streets of NYC, so many people are taking photos and selfies with him. The panda is feeling like a rocksta...

Retired golf vacation in Hawaii...

A man retires after 35 years at the same job and decides to take his first retirement vacation in Hawaii with his wife. He is really looking forward to two weeks of sightseeing and golf. The day they arrive, he signs up for pro golf lessons at the beautiful Pebble Beach Country Club. After a night o...

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"Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised.

While the passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear,
"Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"

The driver didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he...

Pig With a Wooden Leg

A journalist on vacation in Texas is driving on his way to do some sightseeing. Soon, he gets stuck in traffic. After slowly inching his way forward, he decides to take a back road. After getting hopelessly lost, he stops at the nearest ranch to ask for directions. Walking up to the ranch, he is met...

A rich Texan is on vacation in Ireland...

One of my oldest, one of my favorites, but I haven't seen it pop up since I've been subbed. But of course it's surely a repost. I like to put on the Texan drawl and Irish accent for this one...

After a long day of sightseeing the Irish countryside the Texan wants to relax and have a beer so...

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