The local ice cream shop has introduced a new mixed fruit flavour of ice cream dedicated to the president of the United States

They call it the Im-peached orange.

They say it is good, perhaps the greatest in the history of mixed fruit ice creams.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandad is always complaining about how much things cost. ‘£1.50 for a cup of tea, £2.25 for 3 custard creams…’

I said ‘Look grandad, you just popped round I didn’t fucking invite you’

What does a hooker and a box of chocolates have in common?

They are both full of assorted creams.

There was this physicist who came to the ice cream bar every day

to buy two ice creams: one for himself and another that he offers to the empty spot next to him.

Eventually, the ice cream salesman asks him: "Why do you keep doing that?"

P: "Well... quantum mechanics teach us that it's theoratically possible for a girl to spontaneously burst into exi...

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