An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment

They are wanted for dessertion

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A man assaulted me with milk creme and butter

How dairy

The local Chinese restaurant has creme brulee, but it's not on the menu.

It's Secret Asian Flan

How does Putin refer to his greatest political allies?

The creme de la Kremlin

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So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

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What do you call it when you have sex and climax in a Massachusetts girl?

Boston Creme Pie

Once Upon A Time there was a International Poets Contest. All the poets from across the lands came to compete bringing there best original work to compete against their peers. For 40 days and nights they competed eliminating Poet after Poet.

On the 40th day they had narrowed it down to only 2 poets. Both poets read poems back to back for 12 hours, each poem as good as the last. After the 12th hour the judge’s became exhausted and realized that this may never end as both poets were equally amazing. They had to decide a winner and they ha...

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A trucker is driving down a random stretch of highway

He happens upon a billboard while driving that reads...

Peaches, engineered for your taste!
Only 10 miles!

Mildly intrigued, the driver decides to check out what this means. "Engineered for my tastes, what bullshit!", he says.

Driving for the next couple miles, he final...

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What do you get when you have sex with the Quaker Oats guy?

Oatmeal Creme Pies.

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So a grasshopper named Steve walks into a bar.

Wait, you're not supposed to know his name yet.
Anyway, the bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named 'Steve'!"
No, that's not right. The bartender says "Hey Steve!"... Nope.
Hold on, the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink called a grass.." ..No wait.. Got it!
"Hey! We have a drink n...

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Little Timmy hears his parents arguing...

Little Timmy hears his parents arguing...
Mom: You bastard! Your dick is too small!
Dad: Oh yeah bitch? Well your cunt is too hairy!
*Never hearing these words before he asks them what they mean.
Mom: Oh, well, sometimes adults call each other bitches and bastards... and dick and cunt i...

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