UPJOKE
subjectsatisfysubstancecontentednesscomplacentself-satisfiedsmughappymessagetopicissuedirectionstatementviewgratify

Contented Jokes

Which bird is the most contented?

The crow. He never complains without caws.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Groomsman said to the Groom on his wedding day…

“You look so happy and contented, what’s your secret?”

To which the Groom replied; “Of course I’m happy and contented, I just got the best blowjob of my life!”

Meanwhile, the Bridesmaid said to the Bride;

“You looks so happy and contented, what’s your secret?”

To which th...

While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed.

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.


"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."


"No problem, just let ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbit is captured and taken to a medical laboratory to be used for experiments . . .

There, he befriends a rabbit who was born and raised in the lab. One day, he notices that the researchers didn't latch his cage properly and he decides to make a break for it. He tells the lab rabbit how great it is on the outside and convinces him to come along.

First, the wild rabbit take...

A man buys his wife an electric blanket

The wife is nervous about sleeping under all the wiring but soon enough she relaxes and drifts off into a contented sleep. Unbeknownst to the husband, the wife had put a pork roast in the oven to cook slowly overnight for next day's dinner. In the middle of the night, the husband wakes up and smells...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Early one morning, you pull down your favourite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside.

Confused and still half asleep you take the cup outside to empty the dragon carefully onto the grass, then return to rinse your cup and make coffee. The next morning he is back, curled snuggly inside the cup as before and you repeat the process.

After a week of repeating this process you make...

"The Personal Touch"

The brothel’s madam opened the door to find an elderly gentleman standing there. “May I help you?” asked the madam.
“I want Natalie,” replied the man.
“Sir, Natalie is our most expensive girls. Perhaps someone else?”
“No, I must see Natalie,” insisted the man.
Just then, Nata...

Story of Unbelievable

There was a guy whose name was Unbelievable. He was married to a very nice woman for years. Both of them were a very contented couple. One day when he was very old and sick, he said to his wife

"My dear wife, I lived with this weird name all my life. Now that I'm dying, i want you to promise ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.