Consumes Jokes - 8 Hilarious Consumes Jokes

What weighs 10 tons, consumes 20 liters of diesel per hour and splits apples into three parts?

A Soviet apple quartering machine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was Friday night. Frank, Jim and Ed were at the game ready to watch 26 infected zombie girls tear each other to pieces.

Tied around the inside of the arena, the infected girls are labelled A-Z, with fresh meat tied to their backs to entice them to fight. The winner is the last one standing.

Over 50,000 spectators watch from the stands behind a wire fence, betting slips in hand and eager for the fight to begin....

A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician walk into an office to discover the trash can is on fire.

The physicist announces "We must put the garbage can in the fridge so that the temperature will be below the ignition temperature and therefore put itself out!"

The chemist replies "No, we must cover the garbage can so that the fire consumes all of the oxygen and, in the absence of re...

There’s a magical being that consumes seconds, minutes, and hours for food who will go away if you feed it enough

It takes time

Just Half

A drunk in a bar orders a beer, drinks half, then pours the rest on his hand. A few minutes later, the guy orders another beer and the bartender gets a little suspicious. Again, the drunk consumes half and then pours the rest on his hand. A short while later, the man orders yet another beer. The bar...

Have you ever try to eat a clock?

Please, don't do it, it consumes a lot of time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, an Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar...

They all order a pint of best bitter, when a fly lands in each ones glass.

The American picks the fly out, and consumes his beer.

The Englishman asks the barman politely for another beer.

The Scotsman deftly picks the fly out of his beer, and starts slamming it on the rim of t...

This joke has various variations, I'll tell you this one...

One day John comes home to see his blonde gurlfriend sitting in front of a glass with 8 little spiders inside. He asks, "Babe, what's going on? You caught 8 spiders?"

She replies, "yes"

"what are you going to do with them?"

"Im going to eat them"

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